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we argue about this about 4 times a month and it really kills me, but was i really wrong?

well here's the story.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years now. Two years and 3 months into our relationship, she breaks up with me because she said she lost interest me. I was devastated. My world came tumbling down. A couple of weeks later my guy friends took me out and showed me the positives of being single again. I was having fun, going out late, and meeting new girls. A little over a month later, my ex girlfriend and I started hanging out again (we have the same friends of course). we talked and went out for lunch. She started calling me again every day and every night. It was great talking to her again because i still loved her and missed her, but at the same time, i was ready to move on. before this relationship, i was a firm believer that if you break up once, you'll just break up again. well, a week into talking again, she asked me back. she said she made a mistake and could not live without me. i hesitated a little but said yes.

we were in love again, well, she was in love with me again. it was back to how it was before. 4 months later, she goes study abroad in Korea. it was sad to see her go to Korea for the next 4 months but i was sure everything will be fine. we talked on the phone as much as we could. we chatted online as much as we could. 2 months later, she breaks up with me again. There are a few reasons why she broke up with me again.

1. She said Korea opened her eyes and showed her that there may be more out there. She wanted to explore (other guys too i guess).

2. After she went to Korea, I wanted to keep myself busy and and take my mind off of her so time would go by quicker so i went to Vegas with my friend. The thing is, she really wanted me to go to korea and visit her. I just recently graduated college and didnt really have the money for that kind of trip. $300 for a ticket to vegas vs $1300 ticket to Korea (my older sister actually was nice enough to pay for my vegas ticket). my girlfriend got upset at me for that and said that this was one of the reasons that she broke up with me. okay, this was my fault. i'll take blame.

she broke up with me again. again, i was devastated. before making it official i told her that there will be no more getting back together. i couldnt do it anymore. we decided to stop contact with each other. we deleted each other on f-book and m-space. i was kind of bitter about this break up since it was the second time.

it was back to square one. back to my friends for support. a couple of weeks later, i went out for my best friend's birthday and met a girl. she was the cousin of my best friend's girlfriend. i thought she was pretty and talked to her. we exchanged numbers and a few days later we started hanging out. we started hanging out a lot. at first i just wanted to be friends. i didnt feel like moving on yet. i prevented myself from liking her. i told the new girl that i was not looking for a relationship. she was cool with it but still wanted to hang out. the more we hung out, the more i started to like her. i would eventually fall for this girl, but before any of this could happen, my ex girlfriend contacted me on f-book. at first it was just a friendly message to check up on how i was doing. then, we started chatting online. again, she told me she missed me and asked if there was a possibility that we could get back together. i reminded her about what i said before we broke up, but then said maybe there may be a chance. she asked me back again. this time, i said i wanted to wait. i wanted to wait until she came back from korea to see if she really did want to be with me or if she only misses me because the break up was so recent.

she agreed yet continued to ask. at this time, i was still hanging out with the new girl. another reason why i wanted to wait was because i wanted to see what was best for me. meet someone new or go back to my ex. i also didnt want to jump back into a relationship with someone who had already broken up with me twice. someone who i had always treated well, never cheated on her, never raised my voice on her, never pushed her, or never controlled her, but yet still broke up with me, TWICE. i wanted to wait.

a month later, i said yes to my ex, AGAIN. i felt horrible, cause the new girl really liked me. it broke my heart to break it to her that i decided to get back with my ex. she was definitely heart broken.

a week later, after my ex and i have already gotten back together (my ex was still in korea), i ran into the new girl at the club. when i saw her, my heart broke. this first week back together with my ex was rocky and not the best way to restart our relationship. when i saw the new girl at the club, i was questioning my decision. did i make a mistake by getting back with my ex? because i was not happy at all at this time. when i saw the new girl, i wanted to be with her. i took her and held her hands and kissed her once on the lips. she tried to resisted but also let me do it at the same time. (yeah, i'm a jerk, i know.) so many different emotions were running through my mind and my heart at this moment. the new girl turned around and ran away from me and cried to her cousin. i felt horrible for doing what i did to her.

well, anyway, i told my ex about what happened and she was livid. she said i cheated on her (i guess it is. i'll take blame). me and the new girl were still friends afterwards and we both understood what was going on. she still wanted to keep in contact but gave me and my girlfriend space but didnt want to become strangers. she didnt want to be the source of our break up and i respected that. but my girlfriend insisted that i CANNOT talk to this girl anymore and that i COULD NOT be friends with her anymore. even though it hurt, i did it.

to this day, my girlfriend (when drunk and sometimes sober) still brings this up and uses it against me. "the kiss". she also brings up the fact that i made her wait and said that i was wrong for making her wait. everytime she brings this up she dives right in and tears me apart and tears me down. i try to argue but end up taking responsibility. it hurts me everytime she brings it up. i truly felt bad for kissing the girl that night and admit that i was wrong. before that, i have never done my girlfriend wrong, but she still uses that against me and sometimes tell me that i'm not a great boyfriend.

she is also upset that i kissed someone else when we were broken up when she didnt kiss anyone. well, she did. but supposedly she was drunk and blacked out. since she couldnt remember it, it didnt count. according to her. i think its BS. to me, you do things when you're unconscious that you wanted to do when you are conscious but didnt have the guts to do it. her next arguement is that she didnt like the guy and he didnt like her. they were just friends. but yeah, the guy was well aware of what he was doing. they kissed for 40 minutes!!!! i call BS everytime she says that she didnt have a thing for him. she always talks about his body and how its better than mine. talks about his cologne and how its better than mine. and she just talks about him in general.

anyway, was i really wrong for making her wait? and was the kiss really that bad?

your input is appreciated. it will either help me relieve my stress because i wasnt wrong or make me beat myself up because i was an jerk.

thanks in advance.





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