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Bi-polar gf
May 4, 2009
Let me start at the beginning. I am 25 years old and I met my girlfriend about 2 years ago; we were very much in love. About a year into the relationship we decided to move in together (partially for financial reasons).

Around that same time my girlfriend started experiencing a lot of anxiety and getting upset (crying screaming,punching walls, etc). She couldn't keep any jobs for more than a month because she would get too much anxiety so I ended up having to pay all of our bills for alittle over a year. This was very stressful on me and I began to feel like I was more of a parent to her than a boyfriend.

I didn't mind taking care of her at first because I could see how hard she was trying and at the time she was just incapable. Her behavior was very unlike her and she didn't understand what was going on so I recommomended she see a counselor. The counselor immediately diagnosted her as bi-polar citing a thyroid problem. She was put on medicine for the bi-polar and anxiety and everything was good for about 7-8 months. I was very surprised that the medicine worked because I was starting to think this was just her personality. She was able to get a job during this time and everything looked like it would be ok between us.

She applied for college and decided she would go back to get her art degree and I tried to encourage her the best I could.

About 4 months ago she decided she no longer needed the medication (I disagreed). She has been off the medication and things have been very rocky. She gets VERY upset over little things and just blows up on me (or anyone else that has caused her stress) and cannot calm down.

I mentioned to her a few times that I would like her to move out because she should not be in a relationship right now and needs to focus on herself. She gets very upset at any mention of us not living together and says she cannot afford to support herself right now (especially with her going back to school in a few months). She then told me to leave because I had money to get my own place and she did not. I told her I could not leave because she has no way to pay for rent and no direction to go at this time. If it were up to me I would have left a long time ago. Her parents live about an hour from the college she will be attending and she does not own a car so she says moving in with family is not an option. I feel stuck because I don't want to just leave her high and dry. I would like to see her be successful and do great things with her life, I don't care if we stay together at this point (I care for her well being but i am not in love with her any more) I just want her to have a positive direction to move towards.

I don't think it is feasible for me to keep supporting her (financially) when I feel I am falling out of love with her. The amount of stress that is put on my from her bi-polar issues and from always being short on cash is starting to really take its toll. I have not told her that I am losing my attraction to her because I am afraid I would just cripple her. I know this is my own fault and I am doing us both a diservice. Should I be worrying about her or be looking out for myself right now?

To make matters worse our landlord has a new apartment and they asked us if we would like to move in. They would like us to move in in about 30 days from now and I am having doubts. My girlfriend should be getting some school loans which could help her with rent and I was wondering if it would be selfish of me to help her move into the new place but tell her she is on her own...I can find myself another place to live and I really think this would be an optimal time to break things off. I am just worried she would not be able to support herself and would bomb out of college and I would be the cause of it.

I need some advice as I would like to move on with my life and break up with her/move out but I am having a very difficult time with it. Thank you, sorry this question was so long!

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