It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I feel like I am in a dead end relationship. Me and my boyfriend of 3 years have had ups and downs. We met when at 19 and have been together since. We lived together and it was overall unhealthy to be honest. We had our laughs and we had our moments... times where we went on vacation, slow danced, shared christmas together, leaned on each other... very memorable times. YET, we have also had times where he was very jealous, insecure and controlling. I didnt know if that behavior stemmed from age and lack of maturity. Anyways, we were living together and I decided to move out hoping perhaps things would get better. I live on my own with roommates and I must say I prefer this situation. I do miss him and I do love spending time with him... but honestly, its so nice to have my own place. Its nice to have him around and when things start getting ugly -- I can tell him to leave.

We are both 22 now and things have changed... I think. He has backed off a little bit with all the crazy jealousy and insecurity. I think so anyways... I cant really tell since we do not live together anymore. I think things have improved. Back then he never wanted to go anywhere without me and I never went anywhere with out him. Now, we have our own space and we do our own thing with our friends. I think part of that is due to the fact that we dont live together anymore and I just simply told him i was doing what I needed to do for me and he just needs to deal with it.

My boyfriend has always been a hard working man. He tries his best and he is really a hard worker. The problem - he changed. He went thru a phase where he was unemployed and things got a little rocky and unstable with work and finances. Of course as his partner, I stepped up to the plate to come to his rescue. The problem is... he has never changed. He was working but it just seemed like he was never making enough money to pay the bills. His bills increased while his income remained the same and he just never bothered to get part time work or strive for a better paying job. He just got stuck in this comfort zone where he just asks me or hints around because i would help.

Since I have moved out he has been having to do things on his own. Well actually, we broke up for about 2 months and started talking again. He just really changed and went down hill. He was working for BMW and everybody there especially his supervisors loved him. He used to be the first one there and the last one to leave. Then he started getting lazy... he would call in saying he is sick, somebody died, I wrecked my car ( I did but he lied and told them he was driving me to school in which he DID NOT) etc... whenever he just didnt feel like working, he would just not work. He would go late and he would make up lame excuses to leave early.... CONSIDERING HE WAS a great worker at one point, his supervisors let him slide, they cut him A LOT of breaks and they worked with him all the way thru. HE JUST KEPT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THEM JUST LIKE HE TAKES ADVANTAGE OF ASKING ME WHEN HE CANT PAY BILLS... AND BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER EVER EVER EVER LIKE THAT I have helped and his supervisors did too! Fast forward, he got fired. He is still unemployed. His car is paid off but it needs a new engine. He cant pay for rent. So he is now staying with his sister who lives 45 minutes away from me.

He cried to me (i thought it was genuine) and he just poured his heart out saying he is sorry for everything. He cannot go lower. He appreciates me and everything is about to change.... blah blah blah blah. OKAY. I FELL FOR IT. (Now before you jump on me please understand I do love the man and its not easy to separate rational thinking from emotions) so I fell for it. He asked me to stay at his sister's house and drop him off of work since its on the way to my work. Let me simplify things a bit... his sister lives in exit 19, he has this side job and its at exit 24 and i work at exit 63. so he asked me to stay down there that way I can drop him off on my way to work. Understand, this is very INCONVENIENT FOR ME since I would have to wake up at 6 drop him off at work and drive 45 minutes to make it to MY work. I stayed and did it for hime.... how about he "changed" his mind and said he did not feel like going out of town. He says the guy that hires him on the side screws him out of money and he doesnt want to go.

IM LIVID! I waste my gas, time, EVERYTHING to stay at his sisters house (whose entire place smells like an ashtray cuz of all the cigarette smoke) to drive him (when i didnt have to) and he conveniently changes his mind!!!!! WHO CARES if the guy is screwing him out of money, its a JOB. He doesnt have a job, nor a car and is on the verge of losing his apartment. That side job doesnt have to be permanent!!!! but he needs to suck it up until he can find a better job!!!! Im just so sick of this. How do I know if somebody is really "down" or if they are just damn lazy and dont care?

I just ultimately realized that I will not get anything done or accomplish what I need to accomplish if Im too busy investing my time and effort in him. I wanna go to the gym, decorate my room, visit my family etc -- but i have put all that on hold because I chose to help him. But it seems like he is just a useless piece of s***! What happened?





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:34 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!