It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


18 and 19 year olds think they are grown up because the law says they are. My niece moved in with her boyfriend when she was 19, and she has no job and isn't going to school. They are renting an apartment far beyond their ability to pay and are going around asking friends and family members to help them with rent.

My cousin, back in the late 70s, married his high school girlfriend. He was 19. She was 16. Guess what...they got divorced after about 5 years!

Legally, there's nothing anyone can do. I have an 18 year old son and of course I want the best for him. He's attending college, and I have no idea what I'd do if he announced he was moving in with a girlfriend. All I could do is discourage him, but I couldn't stop him unless he wanted money from me to pay rent. Those are the ones I don't get...the ones whose parents are footing the bill while they live with their boyfriends/girlfriends!
[QUOTE=colby88;4013114]An unfortunate update.
My nephew informed us the other night that he is not going back to college and is going to work for his Dad's construction company instead. His girlfriend plans to attend the local Jr. college and take courses.

My sister & her husband went with my nephew to rent the apartment and the girlfriend wasn't present. She is moving in sight unseen. The monthly rent is $1200.

So, at 19 & 18 they will be setting up "house" with no savings, and no income until my nephew starts working for his Dad this summer.

I'm bummed![/QUOTE]


I, too, moved out at 19 with my boyfriend. I quit college and got a job working for a company that I am still with today. Do I regret not finishing school? Yes and no. I am going to go back in the fall and get my degree but not because society thinks I should- because I want to do something different. All of the events in my life since I made that decision have led me to where I am now, which is with a different boyfriend (nay, fiance) and a better sense of who I am. Something I wouldn't have learned under my parents thumb. Some of us don't need fancy jobs or degrees to make us happy. Some of us believe that love brings people together even when society thinks we aren't ready. Life is about living and learning. Live your life :) let him learn from his.
[QUOTE=Abigail121;4013801]I, too, moved out at 19 with my boyfriend. I quit college and got a job working for a company that I am still with today. Do I regret not finishing school? Yes and no. I am going to go back in the fall and get my degree but not because society thinks I should- because I want to do something different. All of the events in my life since I made that decision have led me to where I am now, which is with a different boyfriend (nay, fiance) and a better sense of who I am. Something I wouldn't have learned under my parents thumb. Some of us don't need fancy jobs or degrees to make us happy. Some of us believe that love brings people together even when society thinks we aren't ready. Life is about living and learning. Live your life :) let him learn from his.[/QUOTE]

I totally agree that life is about living and learning. You sound happy and content with your life decisions which is great! We're all on different paths and an education (of some sort) is the way to a better life. If no one had a degree or had furthered their education, where would we all be today? Love at a very young age is fine, but making it the #1 priority and not thinking about future goals beyond today is not. At 18 & 19, they are not the same people they will be in 10 yrs.

The issue with my nephew is that he is still going to be under his parent's thumb although living apart. With no degree, he will be working at his father's company (construction). They have also rented the apartment and partially furnished it for he and his girlfriend to live in. I think this is wrong.

If my nephew wants to make adult decisions then he should be the one finding an apartment and renting the apartment himself based on his own credit report and income data. This is not the case and one of the main reason's I object. I'm not sure how his girlfriend's family feels but I do know she has never had a father or male role model which is a whole different subject.

It's happening either way, and it's none of my business at the end of the day but I do care about him and want what's best for him. I guess I just see poor judgement on many levels but maybe he's the smart one and it will all work out in the end. I hope so for his own sake.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:26 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!