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What is going on?
May 15, 2009
I have a horrible feeling that my bf (or ex) is emotionally manipulating me. We have been breaking up and getting back together too many times recently. We have had many issues and always decide that it's for the best that we split up. However, we end up missing each other too much (slightly immature, yes) and hoping that things will somehow go back to how they used to be and that our feelings are strong enough. But i think the main problem is that we're just incompatible.
Anyway, I broke up with him three weeks ago and then it only took two days before we met up again...within a week, we were back in a relationship. Then we broke up 'properly' a few days ago. Unfortunately, I had left some of my things at his house, so I needed to go back the next day in order to get them...he gave me a long speach on how he wants to be 'friends' because he needs me in his life, etc. To cut a long story short, we ended up sleeping together. However, one pattern that Ive noticed is that whenever we 'break up', he always bombards me with silly messages the next day about how ive forgotten some insignificant thing, or asks me v stupid questions. I used to think that this is because he just misses me and wants to initiate some form of contact, etc. However, he's always SO nice to me and so thoughtful when we are broken up and when we meet up as 'friends'. However, the minute something happens between us (such as sex), he instantly becomes different...i cant put my finger on it, but things change instantly. Perhaps this is natural that he makes less of an effort when he 'has me', but lately ive been thinking that he's doing it on purpose...it hurts to think that he would be like that, though.
Anyway, everything was fine today (even though he was a bit cold and distant with me..two days after us sleeping with each other again) until he asked me to leave because he wanted some space..which is perfectly fine. I was just getting my stuff ready, but he kept asking if something was wrong and then said 'well, i guess i wont see you again'...and then he said that he thought I said that..which I did not! Im starting to think im going insane! Im pretty sure that all I did was get ready to go...so I tried to talk to him about it and he went absolutely insane, saying 'oh please just go home now..I dont want this right now. Just go and leave me alone..' etc. What have I done?! So I left, without saying anything...as soon as I get back, he messages me asking if I got back ok and then asks me a STUPID question about a drink in his fridge. I can almost guarantee that he will call me tomorrow, either pretending that nothing happened and everything is great between us OR he will say that he's sorry and i just stressed him out (for whatever reason), but he wants to be 'friends', etc.
I guess I know what I need to do...I just need time and space to get over him. I just dont know I can 'get over him' unless I know what his true intentions are...and why he's always doing this. Perhaps he only wants me when he doesnt have me. It certainly feels that way. Unfortunately, i cant avoid this guy, for many reasons...so I will have to see him around..although I dont necessarily have to see him for the next 2-3 months...
Anyway, sorry for the pointless rant...





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