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I guess I'm going to go against the grain a little bit here. I strongly disagree with sleeping with a married man just for the moment and just for the sex, but I do also believe that sometimes, a person can meet their soul mate when they just happen to be married to the wrong person. I know of a woman who was married but the marriage was bad and was most likely ending and she began working with a man who was also married with a young daughter and they developed feelings. They worked very closely together and fell in love, kissed, but nothing more. He went home and called his wife by this woman's name while in bed. Anyway, both their marriages were bad so they ended them and married each other. This woman said his daughter hated her for a while, had trouble with it, but as she got older, she came to understand that they belonged together, that her parents' marriage wasn't a good one and she stopped being so angry. I think angry kids have to do a lot with the bitter ex wife poisoning the kids and making them not want anything but the husband coming back. Like in the movie step mom when the little boy says to the ex wife about his new step mom, "I'll hate her if you want me to, mom." Kids deal with a situation the way you teach them to.

Anyway, this woman I was talking abut, and this man who left his wife, not exactly FOR her, but she helped make him realize how dead his marriage really was, they have been married for nearly 20 years now, they have a beautiful son together, they are solid and very very happy together, they are in business together and they are very very successful and happy, and her step daughter came around. I know of quite a few situations like this where the first marriages reallly just weren't happy for one or both parties and someone else came along and things turned out wonderfully for everyone eventually. Anothe rwoman I know of started working with a man who was married, she was married too, but they just had such strong chemistry that they fell in love with each other. They claim they never "acted" on it, but they were well known in the community and people could see how strongly they felt about each other. Truth be told, they didn't really hide it all that well. His wife first found out when their daughter came home from school saying the kids were all gossiping about her dad and this other woman. His wife was in denial and didn't believe it until she found a note in his golf bag from this woman that said "I love you." She wanted to work things out but he wanted out of the marriage and wanted to be with this other woman, so they both divorced and about 6 months later he married this woman and the ex wife re-married and the daughter is just fine. The woman had three kids from her first marriage and they had one of their own after they were married. that was 10 years ago and they are still very very happily together. A friend of theirs told his ex wife on their wedding day "when two people love each other as much as they do, they should be together."

[B]Now, that being said, here's my advice, finally - [/B] I don't know if this is your situation. I think you need to accept that he's married and just be his friend while he figures out what he wants in life, if you can handle that. You don't want him to leave JUST for you and for no other reason, but if he is indeed married to the wrong person, and is strong enough to want a better life for himself and for his kids, because seeing parents hating and resenting each other and growing up in a house filled with anger and shouting and acrimony doesn't do kids any good, he will come to do what he must on his own eventually. I don't think you have to break off all contact, just be his friend and let him know you want him to be happy above anything else and you support him being honest, above board and strong. The kids will be fine if all adults involved really want them to be and don't use them as pawns to get back at one another. Good luck.





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