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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


So I posted on here after I slept w/ a guy on the third date and didn't hear back from him. I let it go about 10 days and then let him know that I didn't appreciate his behavior and he answered me immediately saying that he didn't mean it and thought I would contact him, which I did but he hadn't answered. Anyway he promptly came over to see me and things have been good but weird since then because he sends really mixed signals that make me feel insecure and weird but I suspect he's the insecure one and definitely want your input.

We live about 2 hours apart so he spent a day and night w/ me and then invited me the next weekend to visit him and double date w/ one of his friends that wanted to check me out. We had a fantastic sat. and sun. , god our chemistry is amazing, the physical connection is so strong and the conversation is deep and to the point. We spent all day sunday in bed til late then walked around town where we ran into various of his exes. He talks a whole lot about all of the women he dated and that his town is small and that he wanted to warn me that we will run into many of his exes. He tells me that one still emails him and he told her to bugger off. He seems to have slept with every woman that is now his friend. He talks a lot about the exes and how he ended all of these relationships because he's not willing to compromise on what he wants. he says that no woman has ever broken up w/ him, he always ends relationships. I asked him if he's monogamous with me and it freaked him out and got him all defensive, he said that I was asking him to define the relationship and he didn't want to. I told him that I was only asking him if he's monogomous since he talks incessantly about all of the women he has bedded and I don't want to be with someone who is not monogomous He apologized. After a beautiful weekend together I went to leave and he whispered to me, I like you, you know that and then I like you so much. he said I don't know when I will see you again , we haven't made plans and i think i have the kids all week. i said that we would figure it out.

He called the next day to say that he had the kids all week and wasn't comfortable yet w/ inviting me to spend time w/ his kids only because it will make him nervous because once I drive 2 hrs. to get there I have to stay and if he has to run out w/ the kids, he will feel weird to leave me and the whole thing made him nervous. I told him it was no problem that he shouldn't worry, that I will drive to see him after or he can come up to see me after. That I don't want him to feel stressed around me. He has called me every day since then but today was in a cranky mood. He asked if I missed him even a little bit and I said I did and that I wished I could see him sooner and he said he felt the same.

Then I said it's not that big a deal but what I am more anxious about is the fact that he's going to Europe for a month in about 2 weeks. He asked me what I want to do about it and if I'm afraid he'll forget me. I jokingly said yet but said most of all that I will miss him. I travel all the time, we had talked about me meeting him in Paris for a few days so I said we have two options, either I meet him for a few days or hope time passes quickly.

He asked me if I thought it was too soon to travel together and then said, well you seem like your really comfortable w/ it so it shouldn't be a problem. I replied that I'm not thinking about all that just that it would be fun, that I love an adventure and I love travel. He said that he could have me come and stay w/ his family but that makes him really nervous but that he'd like me to meet him in Paris and then go with him to visit some friends. He said traveling w/ a partner is the ideal thing.
Then he asked what we should do so I said, we should talk about it and do whatever feels comfortable, let it rest until the week before he leaves and see how we feel.

The thing is, he jumps to conclusions all the time about taking things further than I ever intended. I'm not ready to meet his kids nor his family, I just want to hang out w/ him at this point and I have to keep reassuring him that we are just getting to know each other and having fun at this point. When we first met he asked him if our religious differences were a problem and if I'd expect him to convert for my family.

What is his deal? I really like him but he makes me feel weird that when I suggest something that I think would be fun for us to do together, he jumps to conclusions and it makes him nervous not because of what I've suggested but because he's taking it a step further, I have never expressed a desire to meet his kids or anyone in his family yet. It makes me feel like I'm needy when he does this, but we are dating and we live far apart, we can only see each other max, once a week, not a lot to get something started. I don't want his issues to be mine but I cant tell if he's really nervous about commitment or nervous about what I feel and want and what my expectations are. He's sure cocky and confident but this part is weird. He says he's looking for his true love and he talks like that to me like I'm not even in the room. I told him that I felt weird having that conversation w/ him and he replied that I'm certainly a candidate. I don't want to feel that I"m on trial, that I have to be better than the trail of women he's broken up with, that I'm some crazy, needy woman trying to work my way into his life when I"m not. I told him I want to take it slow, do things right, have a great time together and let things flow naturally, not force anything and just see what happens but that I have a fantastic time with him and that I really enjoy his company and want to spent time w/ him. he says his ex-wife never really needed him nor expressed any desire towards him and she never cared what he did and that he wants that. Well here i am so what's with all the other crap?





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