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Relationship Health Message Board

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Once he has a kid with you he is tied to you forever. As he is right now, he is NOT tied to you forever. Even if he is great with your kids, if you two were to break up, he would not be obligated to neither you nor them. You are not just asking him for a cute baby to share with him, you are asking for a life-time (or at least 21 yr) commitment. To me, it seems he takes the decision to bring babies into the world very seriously as he does not want to commit to something he will not be 100% loyal to/involved with (meaning lifelong marriage, etc). Not many people take this decision so seriously like this anymore. And yes, he may be a little idealistic, because its not like he can be guaranteed that once you have a family with new babies everything from then on will be perfect, but unfortunately it seems like thats the mentality he's in.

I am kind of in the mind-frame. i don't even date people unless I see marriage potential because I don't want to commit to anything short of that. However, I'm also not ready to get married, so if these people were to push me, I would not react well. My response to people who have been pushy with that is either a) resentment b) tension that will become the downfall of the relationship or c) wanting to run. I hope you are not passive aggressive with him over this? if so , I would end that quickly as I see that as pushing him away further.

i think in this case you have to make the decision based on you. you have to decide if you are willing to hush up about this until/if HE is ready, or decide you don't want to wait around.

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