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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


At best, this guy is very undecided about you. At worst, he truly means what he says and doesn't really care about you and is only with you because of the baby. I tend to believe that you should always believe men when they say things like that. But I really don't think moving in with him is the answer to your problems. I understand home life is hard for you right now, but this guy is not commited to you. Moving in with him would just be another mistake.

You need to concentrate on getting your own life together. Taking some courses, getting a job, getting out on your own and not depending on your parents OR your boyfriend to provide for you. You have a child to think about now and you need to provide some stability for him, not worrying about moving in with some guy who may or may not even be in your life 6 months down the road. Don't count on this guy to provide for you or be there for you.
When one is part of a family, it is also part of their responsibility to contribute to the upkeep of the home by doing chores. You may consider this as being treated like a "maid," but it's really part of pulling your own weight. (Just how is a "daughter" supposed to be treated, anyway?) Helping out around the house is only fair, considering you are part of the "team" - your family. After all, they are allowing you to live there with your son.

As far as your boyfriend, I would take him at his word. If he is saying that he's only hanging around to be with the baby, that might be painful to hear, but it might also be true. Guys are funny that way - they mean what they say and say what they mean. It's us women-types that sometimes have problems with that. His own mother is telling you to break it off with him and see what happens. Unless this woman hates you, I would say she probably understands her son fairly well. And if you end up losing him? Well, I don't mean to sound cynical, but you have a beautiful baby boy who is far more in need of your love and attention than some guy who can't even afford or doesn't have the motivation to be out on his own. What are you thinking? You have you're whole life ahead of you, you have the life of a little precious one depending on you, your parents are willing to have you live with them, and you're mooning about some guy who still has to ask his mommy if he can have a sleep-over? In my opinion, you need to be setting priorities, and number one is your son. I'm not sure if you have a job, school, career? But those all of things are far more important right now.

Yes, I know, this guy is your "one and only true love." I had one of those too at 18. By 21 I didn't even where he was, and I could have cared less. Boyfriends come and go, relationships start and end, but your son is a forever relationship and even though he is very small, he's taking his cues from you, mama! His bio father isn't in the picture, and now you've introduced a guy whose still living with mommy in his life. This boyfriend might be a really fine person, and might even turn out to be great dad material, but don't you owe it to your son to only provide the absolute best? Is this guy the absolute best?

If this boyfriend turns out to be a "keeper," than that would be great! But it doesn't sound like either one of you are ready to be moving in with the other. Until you two are financially stable to be able to afford a place of your own - without assistance from mommies and daddies - than you need to stay where your son can be provided for best.

And...has it crossed your mind that perhaps your boyfriend has not asked his mommy if you can move in, because his mommy doesn't really want you or the baby there? His mommy might really like you and the baby, but she might not like you that much. It's a big burden to ask some one to have another person and their baby move in - especially, if they are not financially capable of taking care of themself or their baby in the first place. Try thinking outside of you in this situation.





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