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[QUOTE=Ptenez;4008459] It's hard to describe the feeling that i have - i am not jealous, i feel misplaced. At some point, they both made me feel that i am not as important and close to him as she is [/QUOTE]

Because you're not. If you were paramount to him, he'd care about how you feel about this issue. He would have known that his place is beside you, not to leave you standing there looking dumb while he went to go sit beside her. He would respect how you feel about him still being so close to a woman he used to be inside of. But not only does he not even try to understand your feelings, he doesn't care. Even with her married and in another country she's still more important to him than you are. Your "flipping out" is not a clue to him that maybe his relationship with her is inappropriate, it's his cue to go underground with it and to hide and be dishonest and secretive. He doesn't get it, and doesn't want to.

I think Blastoff is right. He's having an emotional affair with her. He knows how you feel about it and doesn't care, and is not about to change his behavior. So you have two choices - accept that this is the best you are ever going to get out of him and be satisfied with it, or dump him and find a man whose heart doesn't already belong to someone else.
I would have turned and walked out of the restaurant and gotten a cab or walked home. My ex-H had an emotional affair with someone he claimed was his "best friend." No way. If it has to be kept secret; if he can't talk to her in front of you and she can't treat you like a special person in his life; if he can't make sure that she knows that you are to be respected, then it's an emotional connection. I agree with the others - if she snaps her fingers and says, "I need you," he's there in a heartbeat. And you're out in the cold. Nagging won't help - it only makes him go underground, sneak and lie. You need to decide what you will put up with and then live with it.

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