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Relationship Health Message Board

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I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years; living together for the past two. Over the past year she has become closer and closer with a guy from her office. The guy is going through a divorce and has been very depressed. At first I thought my girlfriend was just trying to be a good friend, but as time went on this guy was spending more and more time with my girlfriend.

Last month it was almost 4-5 days a week that this guy either came over our house for dinner or she would stay late at the office with him. I had mentioned a few times this past year that his time spent at our place was becoming a little too much but she would say he is lonely and going through a rough divorce I accepted it.

After spending 8 nights in a row with him for dinner two weeks ago I confronted my girlfriend explaining that this was getting completely out of hand. Questioning their relationship; I asked if she had feelings for him. She admitted both her and him have feeling for each others (they have talked about it in length), however she stated she loves me more and wants to be with me in the long term. She claimed she is not physically cheating on me (which I believe).

Since this confrontation; he does not come over my house in fear/shame, but they continue to spend time at work and after work when I am not around.

In a few weeks this guy is leaving the country for Japan for at least 18 months. My girlfriend claims that once he leaves, everything should get better, and that she wants to continue to spend time with him before he leaves the country.

What am I to do? Is this relationship still worth it? Do I wait and see what happens or is this a clear sign that we are not meant for each other?

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