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My fiance and I have always had a great relationship, he is very loving and affectionate and NEVER has given me a reason to question him, or not trust him. Well he was lying to me for a while, he was on a website that is ver popular it is a networking site, where people connect with there friends, you should know which one anyways..he fell asleep in front of the computer and I seen his messages, and there were a few to some girls one said how much he missed this girl, and there was also one to his ex girlfriends sister asking how the family is! I didnt say a word about it and weeks passed then 2 weeks ago i was on the computer doing my job ( i work from home) and i went to type into the browser and up popped some names of girls that he was searching for on the internet! one of them was a girl he used to date and the other was a girl that he had a huge crush on all through high school and a little while after, and obviously still does! I was so upset I stormed out of the office and started yelling at him about it and he denied it all, and said that he has not logged onto this website for a long time and he didnt even remember his password! So he was saying someone was hacking into his profile and talking to these girls! How stupid does he think I am,then he told me the only way he can get to this site is if someone sends him a message it gives him a link to his profile through his e-mail so I told him to have one of his friends send him a message then we could go on there together and he could see what i was talking about and he could tell me what was going on, I was trying to work with him, and give him chances to tell me the truth so he called his friend and told hime to message him, and he did but before we could get to the computer, my fiance went into the office and broke the computer, he ripped the mouse out of the computer so hard that it broke the keyboard and mouse (they are wireless) and now our computer is out of commision, he said he was so mad that he lost his temper and did that, well i think it was awfully convienent that he did that right before we were going to look at it! he hasnt spoken a word of it since that night and for 3 days after that we barely spoke to each other! he didnt try to make it right in any way, now I got his password to this site, (i am pretty computer saavy) and all the messages on seen on there are erased, he was around a computer at his friends house a week ago, and that says that was the last day he logged in, so he erased all of them, how great is that? I was gonna print them off and show him what i was talking about. I cant seem to get over it, and i see him in a different light now, and he dosent seem to care how much it hurt me, all he cared about was himself, and how shi**y he would feel being confronted and sitting in front of the computer having to read these messages he sent to girls with me sitting there and trying to explaon them to me, so what should I do, it has been like 2 weeks now, and no word has been spoken about it, should I try to bring it up, or act like it is ok, and dont tell him i have his password and when we get our computer fixed not say anything about it and keep tabs on him, then if something pops up, print it out and show him?? I jknow that sounds really silly, but when someone will not admit they are wrong dont you have to catch them, and show them you know whats up? I dont think he is doing anything physical with these girls, but emotionally yes, he is going to them for comfort or something i dont know, i just dont feel like he really loves me like he says he does. Help what should i do in this siutation?
I am happy in this relationship...for the most part we do have communication issues, and he has pride that he cant admit when he does something wrong, he tries so hard to act like he does nothing wrong. there are a few other issues that have come up in our relationship and we have talked about them, and yes I was wrong with my approach, and he said that and I apologized and asked him how he would feel and what his reaction to that would have been? I had held this in for so long and finally when I seen that he was searching for these other girls I just lost it, i couldnt hold it in anymore and I got so angry, i actually tried to hold off, I came out of the computer room, and he said "what is wrong with you? did you have a bad presentation tonite? you seem angry?" and I said to him " We can talk about it later when i am not mad, and when our child is in bed." I went to the porch and he followed me out there and said " you are going to tell me now what is wrong" and I lost it and the first thing i said to him was " are you happy with me and our relationship" and his eyes got all wide and he said "OF course why?" And I asked him why he is talking to these girls on m-space and searching for them in the search engine? and he said nothign and stuttered a little and said I dont know what you are talking about! I didnt look those girls up, Jay did when he was here the other night: Jay is his friend. I said that it wasnt there before and it wasnt there after Jay left it is new from yesterday....I could tell you the whole convo but I will not. The other issue I had was his drinking he was drinking on a daily basis and trying to hide it from me, but it was obvi. that he was drunk, finally we talked about it and he admitted he was drinking too much because he was depressed, and blh blah, he cut back a lot. But my thought was is he looking uyp these girls and talking to others for an ego boost? Because he needs some sort of outlet? He has been laid off for almost 2 years with no luck applies for work everyday and nothing, he is very qualified but i am in Michigan and the work force is gone around here, I feel like it could be that or it is because i have gained weight in the past year like 65 pounds due to an undiagnosed medical issue that the docs are trying to figure out I have always had a model body my whole life, and in the past year it has gone down the gutter, and I am trying to get it in shape and figure it out, so maybe he is not attracted to me like he used to be? He says he thinks I am sexier now because I am more curvy, he likes the curves better then me being very slim, I am not fat perse, but "curvy" coke bottle figure now. But I am very self conscience of it. I dont know if i approach him about it if he will even talk about it anymore. And yes it has ruined my job, I havent been making nearly as much money, and my employees who I manage llive all over the country and that is how we stay in touch, so I have been trying to work from the phone, and I also work a 40 hour a week job as well, so I have been using the computer here as much as I can to run my business that I used to do full time from home, he knows that I have been trying to make my at home job full time so I can stay at home with my daughter and I make more money doing the at home then I do at my 40 hour a week job, it is unlimited income as long as i work and do it, but now i cant because all he was thinking of was himself when he ripped the cord out of the back of the computer.UUUUGGGGHHHHHH! I am so hurt inside please keep the advice coming!





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