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[I].. Allow me to give you the back story to my current situation.. [/I]

Seven years ago I met my High School sweetheart.. it was love at first sight and with a slight slip-up she got pregnant. My daughter is now four years old (almost five).

6 months after my daughter was born my girlfriend was talking to another man.. she ended up leaving me to "see how it would work with him.." Well, after a couple weeks of him treating her like dirt she came back to me. Six months later we got married.. Stayed married for 2 years until she started working at a new place.

She met some boy at her work and ended up requesting a divorce. A week after I left, they were together. They stayed together for about eight months. The divorce was final and I was (after the hardest few months of my life) trying to get back on track. I finally managed to be okay with seeing them together.. and one random Tuesday she called me up and wanted to hang out. So we did. We ended up having sex (while she was still with this other boy).. and started talking again.

We decided to give it another try.. everything went really well for about a month.. and then she started working somewhere new. She found another guy there and started talking to him behind my back. She didn't understand how that would upset me so I left her. I told her the moment I detected her cheating on me in any sense, I would leave her. So I did. The next day she was dating this other guy.. I also then find out she was talking to her ex (the guy she was with for eight months) behind my back.. "as friends". This was at the end of March.

This time didn't hurt near as bad.. so I just picked up the pieces and went on with my life. I swore to myself that I would never take her back because I didn't want to put my daughter back threw this..

Two weeks ago I realize she was trying to hook back up with her previous ex (eight month guy).. she told me she would give anything to be with him again but he didn't want anything more than friendship.

Fast forward to last Sunday.. when I dropped my daughter off at her mother's house, as I was going home.. her mother texted me saying I look really good today.. (I've been going to the gym and I've lost a lot of weight..).. we started talking.. next thing I know I'm at her house and we're having sex in my truck.

I just don't know what to do anymore.. She's telling me she knows she has changed and she realizes what she's done is wrong. She tells me that she's willing to wait as long as it takes for me to be ready for her to come back into my life. She tells me she knows that she wants to be with me.. that she's known for a long time..

I always believed that she missed out on her childhood with the pregnancy and just went a little wild.. but does that justify all the hurt I endured? I just don't understand.. two weeks ago she wanted to be together with her ex so badly.. she tells me that she didn't "really want to be with him.. it was just something [I]to do[/I]."

People, let me explain that I do love her. It's funny how love works.. No matter how many times she has hurt me in the past I seem to be here waiting for her to be the woman I know she can be.. To be the mother that my daughter deserves.. and the wife that I deserve. I do believe I see some change in her.. the way she addresses me is a lot more passionate.. and the sex has never been this good.

I've told her that I would much rather remain her friend and not get hurt.. than to open back up and allow her in my life.. for her to just hurt me again. She tells me that she'll never hurt me again, that she realizes how stupid she was, and that she's willing to wait as long as it takes for me to realize this.

It's just quite hard. The fact that she wants to remain her ex's best friend just hurts me. I've always seen him as a potential threat to our relationship.. but maybe they are just friends? This past week was amazing.. but today, I've found myself in a state of wondering. Worried about what she may be doing that I don't know about..

What should I do? Just take it slow.. enjoy the time we share together? With no worries of the future and/or what may or may not happen? Or just.. tell her I cannot be with her.. because it's too unstable and I do not want to get hurt.. again.





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