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[QUOTE=jana83;4029826]I disagree. I discuss all sorts of intimate things with my best female friend and I would do the same if I had a best male friend. I don't abuse my boyfriend's trust, but I do talk about our sex life (in a non-detailed way) and about any arguments we may be having, sometimes I complain about something which annoys me...

Did you specifically ask your husband not to tell her certain things? He may not even have been aware of it hurting you. You should talk to him about what you'd like him to keep to himself about your relationship. If he's a decent guy, he'll respect your wishes. But he may not have been aware of doing anything wrong in the first place.[/QUOTE]

Thank you and everyone very much.
I did specifically told him it's our own business and I don't want u to talk about ours thing with others, and he knows it very well. One day he talked to his sister said something like "I gotta go, otherwise she'll think I'm talking at her back on private business. lol" And to what i feel, I think that bitch who wants him to be her bff does have interests in him still, like that gentleman upper "pitcherred" said, I can't let him talk about our bad things to someone who's interested in him, of course she'll say bad things and make mischief between us. But she can't get him anyway cause she knows she can't, she knows my husband doesn't want anyone with someone else's children, also she's remairried,too. I don't understand why he always talks about us with her even he knows she's saying bullshit, is he gathering the courage to leave me? Also, I'll talk about private things with my friends but only the same sex friends! I can't believe different sex people even more, the ex can be best freinds! As I don't have this kinda experience, I can't keep being friends with any of my ex, so i really can't accept he does that and one of them even wants him to be the Best friend Forever! Am I too... ?:dizzy:
p.s. I don't think my husband regard her as his best friend, cause even yesterday it's the holiday, he didn't even remember to send her the msg for greeting or anything, until she called him today. But he didn't send text to anybody either though. lol But that bitch just keeps following up up up!
To Larrylou’smom and Kszan, Thank you both a lot.
Most of what both you’ve said I’ve thought about it or I was aware of that already.

[QUOTE=Larrylou'smom;4033091]But I don't think that's your real problem. Doesn't it strike you as, well, odd to say the least, that you have to sneak around and pretend to be your husband in order to chase off his other women? His love is not a possession of yours to be guarded from interlopers. It's something he either gives to you or he doesn't. If you have to go behind his back to chase off his other women, then there is something seriously SERIOUSLY wrong with your marriage, and it doesn't have to do with this other woman. It has to do with your husband and how he treats you. What are you going to do, spend your whole marriage sneaking around behind his back chasing off all the women he messes around with? Here's a question you really need to ask yourself - why don't you want a man you don't HAVE to play these games with? Why don't you want a man who loves you and only you and who is honest and faithful and who is proud to be your husband and who will shout it from the rooftops that he loves you and that you're his? A man who is loyal and who thinks the world of you, who doesn't think you're immature, who doesn't bad mouth you behind your back to other women, a man who doesn't have other women for you TO chase off? Why don't you want that? Because you sure don't have it now.[/QUOTE]

That woman was the one my husband dated right before he knew me. I don’t think they were serious but not sure whether he still has interests in her or how much interest he still have for her now. That woman lives in another state, she told him she has a boyfriend now but mostly is for that guy’s money. Cause being with that guy could benefit her and let her make money from that guy. They had sex. But that is a bit**, she f*** with everybody. She told “him” when actually was me talking with her yesterday that she would have a guest and she would entertain him by her tongue. Also she wanted to learn something and donkey came in her mind… I don’t think but not sure, let’s just say I don’t believe my husband would be serious with a woman like that. Last time I found him using the web cam talking with her, he said that’s the future, it’s nothing to do with whom it is. People will see each other while talking through the phone,too. I didn’t know what to say but just felt that’s so ridiculous. He said he also introduced her to another friend (the one I know) to make some money. And after that, as usual, he was fed up and said I’m too jealous and all those stuff. In his mind, money is the most important thing, but in mine, love, happiness, health etc. is the most important thing. He said I’m too young and too stupid know how much important the money is. That’s what he calls me immature I guess. I’m not sure whether he had flirted with her after we had married, but I’m sure he hadn’t when he just knew me cause he was very attracted by me and loved me a lot. But since we had arguments and problems poped up, I will not be surprised if he turned around back to his ex, especially the latest one before me. Your husband had a woman that he flirted with online and with text messaging, etc. That woman told him clearly why she’s with that guy, I think she wanted to show her real heart to my husband, and she said subconsciously she was thinking about my husband when she was with her current boyfriend wearing a shirt my husband got her before. But my husband did tell her those thing: not marrying me, different religion beliefs, massive mood swings, just need time to get out of the mess he was in. I don’t know whether that’s him implying her something like she still have a chance or something. She WAS planning to come back to him, here is the conversation WE had. Before that when I told her that “I” love me very much, real deal etc. I left for a while and saw she changed her online status to ”(her name) is at a loss of words…” Could tell she was hurt at least disappointed and upset.
I(1): i've never thought about leting her go once we got married
Her(2): what do you mean?
1: don't tell me u wanted to be with me seriously
2 were not talking about u & I here.
2 my life is too good t
1 u wanted to come back with me?
2 to submit to you and your lifestyle right now.
2 but yes, I wanted to be with you.
1 it's impossible
1 i got my girl
1 we were not serious
1 she's my real deal
1 otherwise i'll not buy her ring
2 whatever flipflopper
1 lol
1 (we are married
1 leagally
2 oh surprise
2 u didn't tell me
2 yuck
1 so she IS my real del
2 now I'm disgusted w/u
1 deal
2 why didn't u tell me
1 what's the differ
2 differerence I wouldn't even think about showing you my body now that your married.
2 yuck, perv
1 : why do i have to tell u
2i gotta go
1 me too
After a while, I was even a lil worried and sorry cause I thought I hurt a woman’s heart.
1: u ok?
2: fuck off &die

See, she WAS interested in him and I believe he knew that clearly. That makes me hate him more. I wanted to ask him Will u avoid the girls who are interested in u (and u know that) for me? But I bet he’ll say How do I know? And every time he’ll turn around to me and ask me as before, like how do u know they are bad mouth on you? Why do u go through my computer my stuff?? Just transfer the point to something I’m short of words. Is anyone can teach me what to say in that case especially when I’m the one who is the right one but just for the part I peeked his stuff??

For now I don’t think she’ll call him to discuss about this. If she send him email or msg, I’ll delete it before he see them if I can. But I feel I’m kinda really prepared but still hope not happening about the worst case. I wish he could stand on my side and understand me by the time he find out. Cause I don’t think he loves her or at least loves her more than me so far. I think she’s more an emotion dump ear to my husband. Maybe I’m too naive and not clear the fact yet. Or I just don’t want to accept if it’s really the fact.

You're still young, it would be in your best interest to get out of this marrige as soon as possible to ensure you have enough time to meet the RIGHT man for you. Your current husband isn't it! I don't see any reason to continue this farce of a marriage because you're the only one taking it seriously. He is not, instead he is doing everything a single guy would do and unless you make a huge effort to get away, he will keep right on doing what he's doing behind your back with whomever and whenever.

The bottom line is that because he doesn't care about your feelings, that makes him a lousy husband and not worth staying with. Do what you need to do to get out of there! It will only get worse if you wait![/QUOTE]

I think this part is exactly right. I can’t and will not put up with it and let it mess up with my whole life if he continues. I don’t do that all the time. He will not be the one deserve my true love and my full heart if he doesn’t change. I don’t really want a divorce record but I will do if I have to. I believe there will be a man that will do everything like what u said for me. But for now, I still need some more time to wait, until I’m well prepared. I gave him myself, my heart, my love and everything anyway, I don’t leave like this.
Also, I totally understand and agree all of this. But just like I said, not the time yet, either I’m well prepared and he is still like this without any change or will to change, or he blow me up first when he find it out even when I’m not ready yet. But either way, will not be too bad for me. Am I right?

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