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Hi, dear all. Thank you for coming here and thank you for ur help.

My husband says I'm very jealous and insecure, but am I really so?

There is a woman he dated long time ago, like in 1992, and he said he broke up with her after abt 1 week and became friends. Now whenever she texts him or emails him she always plus a "bff" as if she's afraid he would forget that. lol Now she married again with two step daughers. Every time if we have an argument he will talk about that with her, she's never said anything that good for our relation. Here's something she said,

"i told ya , a while back take out old trash. you don't have time to deal and raise, and mold a immature child, move on, your a great guy and you deserve waaaaaaaaay, better. your my BFF, and i have to look out for ya, you would do the same for me."

" YOU SAID YOU WANTED KIDS IN FUTURE, NOT A WIFE THAT IS A KID AND YOU HAVE TO RAISE, I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, AND I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK, DON'T WAIT UNTILL IT'S TO LATE. YOU WOULD TELL ME THE SAME, AND YOU KNOW IT. IF YOUR NOT HAPPY, IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE, AND IT'S NOT FAIR TO BRING A CHILD IN THAT KIND OF LIFE. BE CAREFUL, YOUR SMART AND KNOW PEOPLE AND HOW THEY ARE. I STILL FEEL AS I SAID IN BEG. SHE IS OUT FOR SOMETHING WITHOUT HAVING TO GIVE. HAVE A GOOD DAY BFF. LIFE'S TOO SHORT."

Isn't that a bitch that I should hate? I bet i'll beat her if i see her in person.

Also, my husband tried to see one of the girls he dated right before me on the cam some days ago.

He always says whom he talks to, what's on his computer are all "none of ur business!"
Is that really none of my business? I think I care about those cause I care about him, I don't think i'm jealous but just hate anyone who's tryin' to do anything harmful to our marriage. Cause they've known each other much longer than we do, I'm afraid one day he'll listen to their bullshit or what they said left him some bad effects or impression. Am I really jealous? The more he said none of my business while keeping in touch with his exs even tried to see each other on the webcam when they are in different states,and she often says something like I wish u were here, my shoulder's always here or something, the more suspicious I am. It made me feel they are not over yet. Do u use ur computers seperately and set a passcod for log-in? Do u check his cellphone/emails? Does ur husband/bf allow u to do that? I always think if there's nothing in his cell or computer then he'll not be afraid of checking them, that's why I'll not care if he checks mine. Is that really none of my business? I can't be like him cause he said if i cheated on him he would find out sooner or later, then he would just leave me and find another one. I can't let my relation go so easily like him.

Help, please.I'm new married.What should I do now? Insist and fighting? or leave and run far away?

Additional Details
once I got a call from that ***** "bff" when he's not home. I answered politely and asked who's there,tried to take a msg for him, then she hanged in a hurry. Then she called my husband. When i told him he said that's not right, she had no reason not to leave her name. I thought that's because she knew what she's said about me, about us, and by that time she was kinda with a guilty conscience, so she was not Dare to. I knew there's no interests from him for her, but i feel she still tryin to break us down even she can't get him back any more. I thought She is jealous because i got a good man while she married a trash with step children.

Also, I don't want him to talk about our arguments or anything about us with others, I think it's none of others' business, like the vow says, Marriage is the union of one man and one woman, voluntarily entered into life, to the exclusion of all others. So i think it's kinda private thing. But he talks to everybody, his friends, his sister who's the only one he trusts and very close, they call each other almost everyday since they are in different cities, his exs and everybody. He said I should feel lucky if he can talk to others cause when he's angry he doesn't have to abreact on me. Isn't he a jork? Is he right or what I think is right? What adventages can he take from telling others my bad? I don't know how to face those people when i know he told them about us. :(





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