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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

There also comes a point where we need to stop focusing on what others have but we don't, because beneath all of that facade of "happy family with 2.5 kids, a house with a white picket fence and a dog" is usually a lot of problems. Whether it's financial problems, sexual problems, addictions, lack of personal free time, whatever the case may be, just because someone you know is married and has kids doesn't mean they are any happier than you are. You may think they are because they seemingly have what you don't, but I'll bet you they wish sometimes they were in our position with no parental responsibilities or deep debt issues because junior needed his braces this year or whatever. As single women, we can pack up and leave for London at a moment's notice if we feel like it. Those married women with kids? Not So Much! If we feel like going to a rock concert 5 weekends in a row, we don't have anyone telling us "No there's other plans and you can't go without me." Our possibilities for what we can do with our lives, as single women, are endless right now. I know for a fact there are times these married mommies wish they had even just a minute of relaxation away from the constant need for attention that happens 24/7 in their lives between kids and husband and pets.

What I'm trying to say, as cliche as it sounds, the grass is not always greener! Come on, seriously, the proof is in the posts on this board where you've got so many women in miserable relationships! They're married and have kids, but do they look happy to you? Not So Much! Marriage and kids does not automatically equal happiness. Yes it's something many of us grew up wanting to have, but as we have gotten older and seen our friends go down that path, we realize when we look really closely that they are not as happy as they seem. Over 15 years ago the statistic was that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, so those odds aren't all that great for anyone. And of the 12 or so weddings I've attended in the last 15 years, only like 3 of them are still married to the same people. Kinda makes you sit back and wonder.....

Don't fool yourself into thinking people are getting together and getting married because they are actually truly happy and in love. That's not realistic anymore. It doesn't happen often. Because more often than not, one or the other person in the relationship starts getting bored and probably ends up having an affair and then all hell breaks loose. That's not a happy thing to have to deal with. But being single, you don't have to even worry about that drama. You have no one there to always disappoint you or make you feel bad. You just have an entire world out there just waiting for you to experience things and do things and try new stuff you've never done before!

I'm not saying it's wrong to want to have the marriage and family thing. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just saying that it's pointless to pine over something that keeps appearing to you as being all wine and roses when in fact majority of the seemingly happy married couples you know are likely just putting on a front for people but when they go home at night are fighting like cats and dogs or even ignoring each other completely because there's some new problem or old problem that never got resolved. That's reality. Not the "living in a house that's green" life like Audrey dreamed about in Little Shop of Horrors. Great movie, by the way!

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