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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Honestly do you really think this other man is that much in love with you?....Sure he calls you now and then, but I am sure he is not telling you who he is dating or when he is dating, he just tells you how much he misses you, basically all the things you want and need to hear...Maybe all this time he hasn't been able to find someone that was willing to commit to him for what ever reason...Do you know for sure if you are the ONLY women he cheated on behind his wife's back? Personally I would be looking at this other man w/ both eyes open, and not just go by the butterflies in the stomach feeling and remember the butterflies always go away eventually, not to mention you are going to wonder the same thing your husband wonders now, that every time he is not with you is he cheating on you as he done w/ his wife and plans to do to his present g/f?

I am a little confused thou through out the threads because you have mentioned you love your husband and he has changed for the past 2 yrs in the good, he helps you in many ways, but yet you say he is controlling and not nice to you...So I am confused...Are you trying to convince yourself into leaving?

I agree w/ some of the others here that you need to take time out alone and on your own to make a decision like that, running from the fire-pan into the fire will not answer you problems, because as you are with this other man you are going to be thinking about all the years you was with your husband and are still going to be confused...and eventually you will end up alone, but only because of the choice of others.

There is NEVER 100 % happiness in many marriages and always there is some thing that a partner does to irritate you. As far as your daughter goes, it sounds like she is caught up in the cross fire between both of you, which is hard not to do beings they are in the home....

It is hard on a partner that has been cheated on with trust and it takes a lot to rebuild that trust and yet there are some that can never forget, maybe forgive but never forget. My ex-husband cheated on me, but later I found that he cheated on his ex-wife of 17 yrs as well, She was faithful to him and actually a very good wife, it is just who he was and needed that attention and that butterfly feeling you first get when your with someone and I couldn't forget, I never knew if he was at work when he said, if he was calling her every time he left the home, was he secretly text messaging this other woman?, plus how many other women was he hitting on to get the attention he felt he needed. I didn't want to be a mom to him or a parole officer and spend my life checking on what he was doing, so I left him, because when a partner cheats it is very hard to just believe and accept they won't do it again by just their word. Remember when you said your vows that was your word and unfortunately many do wander off for many different reasons and yet they end up like you caught in a triangle of confusion and the other partner becomes controlling as far as giving you the freedom you need. So that might be why your husband is having a hard time w/ you being out w/ your friends. Not that it is an excuse, but it might be why he is being that way.
But, you need to take some time out for yourself and really think about your life, your future, what you really want. As others have posted here that don't go for either, build your strength up for yourself and maybe you might find that you really don't want either one...The old saying grass is greener on the other side of the fence isn't always true..So to really help yourself just take a break to figure out your life because in the end that is what is important. Whats the other old saying, you have to learn to make yourself happy before you can make someone else happy...besides if you lean on someone else to make you happy you will always be searching constantly. This is a very hard predicament and not always will you come up w/ the best answer, but seeking out by yourself to know if you want the marriage or to start over again might be the first step. If you have wondered this for the past 3 years it is time to find your answer so both you and your husband can move forward whether it be together or separate....You don't want in another 2 -3 years still be asking the same question.....Remember this guy might be making you feel loved,wanted and feeling good , but you never really know someone until after you live w/ them 7/24.....So again think about what you are looking for and want in life and of course what is best for you daughter and remember not always staying married for the children is the best answer either because they live in a home of tension...I'm sure I didn't probably help much and only confused you more, but in the end none of us here can make your final decision, but we can only hope we help in some manner w/ clearing your head in making the right choice that is for you....

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