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[QUOTE=Redneon82;4036560]I actually kind of got the responses I was expecting. If I were talking about a woman who got this kind of treatment from a man, I think everyone would be saying that he didn't have the right to do these things, that she deserves some privacy and respect, and that this controlling behavior more often than not leads to physical abuse, since she is being isolated. But since it's a woman doing these things to a man, it must be because he did something to make her not trust him, and perhaps she's justified.

[/QUOTE]

Please don't misunderstand or misquote me. I said when I FIRST started reading your post, that was my initial knee jerk reaction. Any relationshp expert will tell you that when trust has been breached, it must be re-built, and full transparency is the best way to do that. I was thinking this perhaps might be the case, since he's a man and men still cheat more often than women do. But I also said, that AS I READ ON, that the fuller picture began to emerge, and yes, I agreed, this is definitely abuse.

No one has the right to be controlling and unreasonable, and certainly no one has the right to hit in a relationship, male or female. But abused women did not start to get help until they started to talk about it and bring the problem into the light, network and help each other. And men will not get help for this issue until they start to want to help themselves. But how? Safe houses and battered shelters for men? Support groups where they sit around and cry and hold each other and tell each other "you're good enough and smart enough?" I just don't see that being something men would really get into. Maybe I'm wrong, but if men really see this as a problem, men are going to have to do what women did, organize and come up with solutions that will help them regain their self esteem and move past these bad relationships, learn how to stay out of similar relationships in the future, and not punish the entire spectrum of the opposite gender because of it. But that would require self improvement, and like Gerard Butler says in The ugly Truth, "for men, self improvement ends at potty training." They will have to come up with their own solutions and start asking for help on a national scale. So far the only solutions I see them coming up with are in movies like The Hangover, where one guy's solution to ditching his abusive girlfriend is drinking and debauching until he stumbles upon a hooker with a heart of gold. They're going to have to come up with something better than that if they want to be taken seriously. Women get put in the hospital every day and every day in America 10 women are murdered by a husband or lover and women still aren't taken seriously by a lot of people when it comes to this problem. There are people right here who say women bring abuse on themselves. As long as we have this attitude, domestic abuse, male on female and female on male, will always be a very serious problem.





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