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That's the screwed-up thing - she is always telling me how she wants me to be a successful person and go on and do great things, but she won't let me leave the freaking house. How in the world am I supposed to achieve such success when she won't even allow me to get out from under her wing? It probably doesn't help that I actually have achieved some significant things in my field of work right from home. I'm amazed she even let me go to college in a city...if she knew some of the things I did without her knowledge, she'd have a bloody fit (walking alone at 3 in the morning to the store for a snack, getting on a train at midnight to go see a friend, wandering the busiest street in the city late at night looking for sushi, going on a bus alone 600 miles away to see another friend, etc.)

Sadly, due to my mother's overprotection, I also never got a car, license, or even a permit or a 'real' job. I was studying for my permit test until the depression hit...so I can't even go look for work outside the house because I have no vehicle.

I don't want to be disrespectful to my mom because even though she makes me want to rip my hair out, she does care. She just does not seem to realize that she is smothering me completely and she sees nothing wrong with her behavior...probably because I never told her off for it. She seems to think that me being totally apathetic to everything, sleeping all day and not eating is totally normal. Personally, I think I could want to do far worse things than visit a friend; I wonder how she'd react if I began doing drugs? Would that be worse than wanting to leave the house, I wonder?

I may look into counseling, but due to no availability of a car (and no one I know who has one on a dependable basis), I am not sure I could be in therapy unless it was over the phone. Kind of impersonal, yes, but it's all I could probably do. Plus, my father is not in my life at all; the only person close to one is my mother's idiot boyfriend who disrespects me at every opportunity, so I would rather stab my eyes out with straws than speak to him.

Talking to my mother is very difficult, especially when she starts giving me the guilt trip about how she loves me so much and she worries about me and I'm her only child, blah blah blah complete with crying. I'm sure all of that is true, but what does it have to do with me visiting someone I know and trust in a city I lived in for four years? Oddly, when I was in my dorm, she called me every two weeks to check on me, unless she needed something. Doesn't sound too overprotective, does it? I don't get it - why's she like a barnacle in real life, but maintains a safe distance over the phone? I might try talking to her again, but I don't expect any sort of success.

I could probably call my high school guidance counselor...haven't been enrolled in that school in four years, but she knows and remembers me and my mother and she might be able to point me toward something low-cost.

Thank you [B]chevyman[/B] and [B]RedNeon82[/B]; I know both of you tend to extend advice in my topics and I appreciate the insights.





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