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A couple days ago, I asked my mother if I could go visit a friend back in CollegeTown (I graduated about a month ago). Friend offered to come here and get me, so it's not like my mother would have to spend any money getting me there.

I anticipated a 'no', so when she said just that, I wasn't upset. What did upset me was being lectured for a half an hour on two separate days on how my friend must be an irresponsible driver who will crash the car and kill me because he's young (22, I believe), how I must be 'more than friends' with him if I am willing to go six hours away to visit him, how 'boys will be there after college', even though I just graduated college and won't be going to grad school for another year and a half, and how long-distance communication should be more than enough for friends. Among other things.

Mom even admitted she prefers when I am cooped up in the house where she knows I will be safe. I have very very few friends, so I have been taking this quite hard. I figure I won't ever see my friend ever again because my mother is so overprotective of me, and needless to say, I have spiraled into a very bad depression. I honestly stayed in my bed for about 26 hours yesterday, getting up only go use the bathroom. Today I would have done the same, but I was forced to go see some of the few relatives I am still allowed to see (Mom has a grudge against her siblings, so I am cut off even from family). I especially love how my mother claims to dislike when I cry, yet she seems to have no problems with making me cry.

I've been crying and having suicidal thoughts for the last few days, and I am really not liking it. I'm just not sure what to do. I've been in a depression once before and it lasted about two weeks, but I don't know if this one will do the same.

I fear I might actually kill myself simply to be able to escape my mother's overprotectiveness, but I feel as though I cannot tell anyone I know out of fear I'll be labeled a psycho. My mother does not seem to realize that I am at an age where my friends are the ones I want to spend time with, and when she cuts me off from them, I get upset. Somehow, she actually expects me to be perfectly content and occupied sitting on my butt all day, surfing the internet and playing with the cats and going to see my neglectful boyfriend. And for the record, the thing with my friend isn't an age thing - I'm also 22.

How can I deal with a protective mother without harming myself? Why can she not understand that just because my friend is a man, that doesn't mean he's more than a friend? Can't I just have a male friend whose company I happen to enjoy a lot? He and I happen to have a lot in common and he's just fun to be around; the only person I go visit now is my BF, and honestly he's kind of boring to be around. Talking to people helps, but only so much; if Mom loved me as much as she claims, wouldn't she care a little more that she is making me suicidal by keeping me holed up like a prisoner?

I really don't know what to do. All I do anymore is sleep and cry; I don't even eat or drink because I'm so upset. And please no one suggest "Well just get up and go" - anyone who has ever been under the thumb of an overly controlling parent knows it's like being in a controlling relationship. It's not just as easy as getting up and leaving.
[QUOTE=Dark Stranger;4039629]A couple days ago, I asked my mother if I could go visit a friend back in CollegeTown (I graduated about a month ago). Friend offered to come here and get me, so it's not like my mother would have to spend any money getting me there.

I anticipated a 'no', so when she said just that, I wasn't upset. What did upset me was being lectured for a half an hour on two separate days on how my friend must be an irresponsible driver who will crash the car and kill me because he's young (22, I believe), how I must be 'more than friends' with him if I am willing to go six hours away to visit him, how 'boys will be there after college', even though I just graduated college and won't be going to grad school for another year and a half, and how long-distance communication should be more than enough for friends. Among other things.

Mom even admitted she prefers when I am cooped up in the house where she knows I will be safe. I have very very few friends, so I have been taking this quite hard. I figure I won't ever see my friend ever again because my mother is so overprotective of me, and needless to say, I have spiraled into a very bad depression. I honestly stayed in my bed for about 26 hours yesterday, getting up only go use the bathroom. Today I would have done the same, but I was forced to go see some of the few relatives I am still allowed to see (Mom has a grudge against her siblings, so I am cut off even from family). I especially love how my mother claims to dislike when I cry, yet she seems to have no problems with making me cry.

I've been crying and having suicidal thoughts for the last few days, and I am really not liking it. I'm just not sure what to do. I've been in a depression once before and it lasted about two weeks, but I don't know if this one will do the same.

I fear I might actually kill myself simply to be able to escape my mother's overprotectiveness, but I feel as though I cannot tell anyone I know out of fear I'll be labeled a psycho. My mother does not seem to realize that I am at an age where my friends are the ones I want to spend time with, and when she cuts me off from them, I get upset. Somehow, she actually expects me to be perfectly content and occupied sitting on my butt all day, surfing the internet and playing with the cats and going to see my neglectful boyfriend. And for the record, the thing with my friend isn't an age thing - I'm also 22.

How can I deal with a protective mother without harming myself? Why can she not understand that just because my friend is a man, that doesn't mean he's more than a friend? Can't I just have a male friend whose company I happen to enjoy a lot? He and I happen to have a lot in common and he's just fun to be around; the only person I go visit now is my BF, and honestly he's kind of boring to be around. Talking to people helps, but only so much; if Mom loved me as much as she claims, wouldn't she care a little more that she is making me suicidal by keeping me holed up like a prisoner?

I really don't know what to do. All I do anymore is sleep and cry; I don't even eat or drink because I'm so upset. And please no one suggest "Well just get up and go" - anyone who has ever been under the thumb of an overly controlling parent knows it's like being in a controlling relationship. It's not just as easy as getting up and leaving.[/QUOTE]

First off I'd like to say never tell your mother off or be disrespectful to her in any way even showing your gumption never be disrespectful to her no matter how much she dispoints you or hurts your feelings.
If you want a lifetime fued with her then yes thats the way to go.

What I suggest...> being that you understand your mom is over protective with you, you know how your mom is and if your staying at home its just that you have to follow her rules but that don't mean she has to be in charge of your life.
Your mom has apperantly not let you go yet sorta speck not let you out of her nest... and I'm sure your mom Loves you dearly.
If you have tried to talk with her and that went no where?
Then I suggest that you talk to your Dad or a family member / counsler and let them know how you feel and how your mom makes you feel, they maybe able to help you.

If you can't do that then get a job get out of your moms house and live on your own, just never be disrespectful to your mother it may come back to huant you someday.
Stop thinking about killing yourself thats the most horrible thing you can do to yourself and everyone around you.

This is just a bad time in your life and with your ''overly protective mom'' being the youg lady that you are I'm sure you will get through this with
your diginity intact and go on and be a beautiful wonderful young intelligent productive woman that you are.

my grandpa always said to me when I was a young child ''grow up and be somebody make something of yourself'', thats stuck with me for ever.
I'm not sure if I made something of myself but I do ok.
I hope you will do the same.
I wish you well with your mother and you guys can find some common ground.





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