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Relationship Health Message Board


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I am sorry to hear about your pain. I know exactly how you feel.....my little guy who's 5 years old has spastic cp and my Mother is only ignorant and makes things SO much worse for me. The only person who has been there for me and has ever helped me was and is my husband. For the past 5 years all she did was yell and scream at me and would more less tell me to get over it and treated the entire situation like it was just an everyday little problem. I'm sorry, but it was a total tragedey for me and my husband and we were and are devestated and our hearts so broken. My Mother only treated me like that because for the past 4 years I have had no sleep, my son constantly screamed day & night and I was also fighting with doctors, therapists and hospitals. She knew I was weak, extremely sleep deprived and so devestated and that is why she was getting away with it. I didn't have the strength to fight back and she knew it. When my Father would try to help me and be there for me.....she would put the end to that. It is a terrible thing to have to go through and on top of all the stress and endless battles and horrible news, to have to deal with the feeling of been abandoned is that much worse. I am the same way with the therapy thing and didn't participate in therapy or support groups. I've always suffered alone and I alwas beleived that was the right thing to do. Don't get me wrong....that is a personal opinion of myself. 100%, journals are a excellent way to vent and I myself keep a journal and yes I do feel better after writing my frustrations and feelings down.

I know this sounds totally crazy but.....have you ever considered seeking a horse out in your area? Horses are VERY theraputic, just even being close to one, touching it and brushing it can bring GREAT peace to alot of people, including myself. After 2 years of barley coping with all of the stress and problems with my son I knew I was slipping into a depression that I was terrified I would never get out of. Being horses are excellent for people with Cerbral Palsy I began searching for a horse to purchase for my little guy with CP. Turns out, I found the best horse in the world for children and myself. No matter how tired I am, how down I feel.....as soon as I am beside her I feel instant comfort and it's almost like she recharges my battery. The most wonderful thing our horse gives me is total peace, something I had lost since the day I was told the terrible news when my son was 5 months old. It really is a great thing because your son would probably get great joy around a horse also. It is something you both can benefit from together. Next spring I will be ready to offer my horse to other children in our city AND for the children's parents. Maybe it will help people, maybe it won't. If I can give one parent or child some happiness it will bring joy to my heart. Obviously not every person is able to purchase a horse for themselves, but do some research in your city for theraputic riding, etc... Give it a try, you have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain. As far as with your partner.....I have dealt with most of the blows myself because I could bring myself to hurt him more. I've always sheltered him from more pain. Maybe I was wrong maybe I was right in doing so, but my doctor (whom was also a good friend) told me when this nightmare began....."unfortunately you are the wife and mother...if you fall apart everyone else in your family will fall with you" I think he is right. I heard a good one on a Dr. Phil episode and he was bang on as far as with your partner....."a hero isn't someone who comes in and saves everyone, a hero is someone who stays and helps through the bad times" Everyone around me, friends and people I work with (except my family) have told me that they admire me because I am SO strong, such a fighter and no matter what I fight like a mother bear with her cub.....if they only knew what a coward I really am, I would be ashamed! I hope the best for you and your family and my heart goes out to you...no one should every have to go through tragedies with their children. Remember, TRY the horse thing....you may be surprised but you will never know if you don't try!! Take care.
Goulais





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