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Thank you all so much for taking the time to read through the posts and reply. I know I sound shallow saying I stay with her for her looks, but I also stay for those few times when she is nice. The only problem is I know in the back of my mind what she can be like and I am always uneasy around her waiting for her to show that side. Perhaps I should not hold all the bad things she has done against her, but sometimes I cant even talk to her I feel so unsure about her character and the way she will react.

I am a good looking guy and intelligent, and we do look like the perfect couple - but that's not the case. For the person who asked how hot she is, I would say about an 8, although I am not scared or worried about getting another 8 (although I will be putting less emphasis on their looks) but I think after this experience I would need some time to be single Even though she is hot I really lose ALL attraction to her when she acts up and when I think about episodes from the past.

The scary thing is that being isolated here alone and thinking alot and having nobody to talk to I start to think that I am the problem! My mum did warn me that being in such a situation may not seem like it is affecting you, but after a while it does.

I have been down recently because of a mixture of being away from home, doing nothing but staying at home and working and us not communicating just makes things worse. It's like she enjoys me being miserable.

My overall feeling at this exact point in time is that I still believe she has a nice side to here, but her controlling, arrogarant, condescending, rude, immature, selfish behaviour is over bearing those feelings.

Sorry again for another rant, but this is something a will look back over in time. I did that with my first post I made a year ago and thought to myself - Why the hell did I not get out then!!! Oh, I also did not mention that a year ago she physically dragged me out of a club for talking to my sisters friend and repeadatly hit me in the street in front of loads of people shouting and screaming. Needless to say I did not hit her back, just took all the abuse on the chin, only for the by standers to say to me after "that girl is crazy, get rid of her, you can do so much better!". If that was not the perfect opportunity to run I dont know what is.

I guess I wanted to try living abroad and to give her a chance. She has improved but I am still haunted by such behaviour. It would be unfair for me to just wait for a repeat as an excuse to leave, but at least I have a few months before my trip home to decide what I will do. But at this stage, we can barely hold a conversation so...

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