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You read about this kind of situation all the time on here, only it's usually the other way around.

I'll tell you what I'd tell any woman in the same situation. You are being isolated, manipulated and abused. Even if it's not physical it's still abuse. And she gets to do whatever she wants. You should not be putting up with this at all.

You don't need to become more aggressive to make a stand, just tell her that you won't put up with her treatment of you and if she continues you will leave.

Looks fade. You cannot build a relationship based on physical attraction only.

You say you want kids, is this really the woman you envisage being a good mother to your kids? They will learn that this way of life is not only acceptable but normal and they will have no respect for you.

If you're having difficulties finding reasons to stay, think about all the reasons you should leave. The fact that you can't find any reasons to stay should tell you that it's time to leave.
Honesty from me....

She does NOT love you, loving someone requires respect
She does NOT respect you , other wise she wouldn't be like this
She IS very selfish and has you exactly where she wants you.

When are you going to get rid of her and find some nice lady out there who will not speak down to you, control you, treat you like shit, trap you and abuse you.

There is someone out there who will love you, talk to you, respect you and show it. You 2 will NOT ever work. sorry its true. once its broken its broken no going back.

She sounds EVIL.
It amazes me that you're still with her. She knows you'll put up with it so she still does it. She'd never last with a man that wouldnt put up with this so she stays with you as you endure it and trust me, it will only get worse.

You must feel that you deserve this and for some reason think that it's okay for a woman to treat you like this. Layed back doesn't mean doormat. If you don't ask for respect you'll never get it and right now there is no respect for you from this woman. You want children with this person that will abuse them too?

Aside from that ... this woman is unstable and I'd leave in a heartbeat... unless this is the life you want... is it? Because if you stay you're going in with your eyes wide open and this is what your life is going to be like.
[QUOTE=cathy1;4614081]It amazes me that you're still with her. She knows you'll put up with it so she still does it. She'd never last with a man that wouldnt put up with this so she stays with you as you endure it and trust me, it will only get worse.

You must feel that you deserve this and for some reason think that it's okay for a woman to treat you like this. Layed back doesn't mean doormat. If you don't ask for respect you'll never get it and right now there is no respect for you from this woman. You want children with this person that will abuse them too?

Aside from that ... this woman is unstable and I'd leave in a heartbeat... unless this is the life you want... is it? Because if you stay you're going in with your eyes wide open and this is what your life is going to be like.[/QUOTE]

I can and sometimes do command my repsect. The problem is that she does not learn or acknowledge it because she is too stubborn. If somebody tells me that I do or say something that upseta them, I become conscious of this and avoid upsetting them. I dont want my life to be like this and I need to do something about it. I know I am strong enough to move on and could do tomorrow. I just want to wait a few months until my planned vacation to see what unfolds..holding on to the belief that it can work..
[QUOTE=ghostgirl2010;4613542]Honesty from me....

She does NOT love you, loving someone requires respect
She does NOT respect you , other wise she wouldn't be like this
She IS very selfish and has you exactly where she wants you.

When are you going to get rid of her and find some nice lady out there who will not speak down to you, control you, treat you like shit, trap you and abuse you.

There is someone out there who will love you, talk to you, respect you and show it. You 2 will NOT ever work. sorry its true. once its broken its broken no going back.

She sounds EVIL.[/QUOTE]

Haha, you are certianly not the first person to call her EVIL. I didnt realise the situation I had gotten myself into to be honest. I was just going with the flow and now have really got in abit too deep! I take life as it comes and this is really the first time (apart from my bout last year that is the original post) that I have thought - what the hell am I doing!!
[QUOTE=Ely4;4613136]You read about this kind of situation all the time on here, only it's usually the other way around.

I'll tell you what I'd tell any woman in the same situation. You are being isolated, manipulated and abused. Even if it's not physical it's still abuse. And she gets to do whatever she wants. You should not be putting up with this at all.

You don't need to become more aggressive to make a stand, just tell her that you won't put up with her treatment of you and if she continues you will leave.

Looks fade. You cannot build a relationship based on physical attraction only.

You say you want kids, is this really the woman you envisage being a good mother to your kids? They will learn that this way of life is not only acceptable but normal and they will have no respect for you.

If you're having difficulties finding reasons to stay, think about all the reasons you should leave. The fact that you can't find any reasons to stay should tell you that it's time to leave.[/QUOTE]

Does it count as abuse if the person doing it does not realise that they are??
Yes it's abuse, doesn't matter if she admits it or not. Of course she knows shes doing it. She doesn't treat her friends that way so she certainly has control over her actions when she wants to. She treats you this way because she wants to. She doesn't love you, certainly has no respect for you. You're her whipping boy, nothing more.

Don't stay because of regret. You're more likely to look back in another years time and regret the extra time you stayed and put up with this.

Don't be fooled into thinking that she can be a nice person just because she has the occaisional period when she's not abusive. This does not make her a nice person.





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