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[QUOTE=trystme;4050615]It is totally ridiculous to ask you to pay for anything regarding these trips. He has a lot of nerve to even ask something so ridiculous.[/QUOTE]

I know, I think it is beyond outrageous. It's his child, his responsibility, so his money! Honestly, what is becoming of men??????
[QUOTE=Nikita8282;4051046] But he did make a point of telling me that it wasn't right for me to say anything b/c he is hurt and out of work right now- we had a fire at our house and he burned his hand. The thing about this that irk's me is that MY INSURANCE is paying out for the damages in the fire; everything destroyed was for a garage sale (luckily) but my insurance is paying out full replacement cost and he expects me to hand over the entire amount to HIM! .[/QUOTE]

Oh please please please PLEASE do NOT do that!!! So the two of you live together, but you pay the homeowner's insurance premiums every month, he had crap he was trying to sell at a garage sale, and it caught fire, is that right? Aw HECK no, he doesn't deserve the whole thing! If I were you, this is what I think would be fair - when you get the check, take out what you spent on this last trip to see his daughter and put that in your separate bank account up front. Then give him however much you think he would have made at the garage sale had he sold all his stuff, and at the garage sale prices, keeping in mind people talk down and down and down, to a dollar or 50 cents for somethings, then take the rest of the money and put it toward household expenses, like the homeowner's insurance premium!! If you are getting sick and tired of hauling his butt around, then maybe putting some of it toward a car makes sense, WHEN he gets his license back. But there seems to be a definite pattern developing here, and I hope you can see it. Whatever happens, any misfortune, any challenge that the two of you face, he seems to say "Me me me, it's all about MEEE! I'm here to live my life as I please, and you are here to make MY life easier in any way I see fit." That attitude does NOT bode well for the future. It's hard to be a good husband, friend, father, etc. and be so self centered at the same time. IF you do choose to stay with this guy, you'd better have an awfully strong back, and be prepared to WORK and work hard, to shoulder all the responsibilities of not only your life, but his life as well, on your own.


[QUOTE=Nikita8282;4051046]Larrylou'smom: I saw the papers for the adoption case. The mother took off then called him leaving him to believe she lost the baby. A couple days after she had the baby, she called HIS mom and told her about what she had done. It seems odd but I read the as many of the papers as I could; he wanted that kid from day 1, she didn't and was pissed that he didn't want to be with her (her words in court).[/QUOTE]

I see. It is strange. But I'm sorry, I still can't summon up a whole lot of sympathy for him. He should have been more selective in picking his bed partners. You never know when a bed partner/casual boyfriend/girlfriend can turn into your co-parent and baby mama/baby daddy for life. It's a shame more people don't think about that when they're hopping into bed. And if he wanted this kid from day 1 SOOOO badly, then why isn't he taking a more active, responsible role in raising her on those precious, rare occasions he actually gets to be with her?
[QUOTE=Nikita8282;4052486]Last night we had a HUGE fight about the trips to see his daughter and the insurance thing. I told him I wanted the money back I spent on the visit last weekend- he was FURIOUS! I told him staright up that his daughter is his responsibilty and it doesnt matter that I go b/c even if I weren't in the picture he would still be going anyway. He told me I was a B**** and that I had "nerve" for even suggesting that he repay me. He twsited the entire thing around and was acting like I said that I hated his child! I've told him a million times that she is an awesome kid and I love her to death- but as I said she's not mine (legally not even his- though he made her) and she's not my responsibility. I buy her toys and clothes whenever I see something I think she'd like and I feel like thats more than enough- not to mention that he doesn't really play with her and she's practically attached to me when we go to visit. So anyway, now he said he doesn't want me to even go anymore (as if it were a punishment!). I guess its for the best- I'll miss seeing her but at the same time I will save myself the arguement every stinkin time.
Then we got into the insurance thing.... he wants HIS check. I told him how I felt about it and he was not hearing me at all. I wanted to take some of the money to just pay off our landlords deductible. He's got it in his head that since it was all his stuff that got burnt- that it's his check. To him it doesn't matter that I have been paying renters insurance for YEARS and that if I didn't have it he would get nothing OR have to wait to go to court (a brand new faulty appliance caused the fire so he's suing the company that made it) which could take YEARS to be finalized. He said that "it doesn't matter if I had insurance, he'd get the money anyway eventually". He doesn't get it. My mom and a few of my friends said I should tell him that the claim was denied or I chose not to take the money because they low balled me and just pocket the money. He's already thought that I would do that- he's threatening to call the company and tell them that the claim is fraudulent (he's an a-hole like that too). But I told the assessor when she came to see the stuff that it wasn't my stuff but I lived there- I was told that it didn't matter. The only issue was wether he wanted to persue the losses in court or have my insurance pay out. If my insurance pays out and I take the money but tell him I declined the money b/c it was too low or that my company denied the claim and he goes after it in court I could get in trouble.... I really don't know what to do.
I know I should obviously cut my losses and bail and I want that at this point but financially I cant do it right now. I wont be able to make a move for a few months. I don't have many friends or places to crash so I'm a little stuck in the situation right now. UGH.[/QUOTE]

You say that "financially you cant do it right now". I say that financially you cant afford not to! He has revealed himself to you completely based on this post. What are you still doing there? He is a parasite with an inflated level of entitlement. I don't even believe that he really wants his daughter. I think he is just one of those men who tries to control everything around them. Run away fast before he completely ruins your life!

Regards,
Linda





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