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Hello everyone, I just thought I'd update you from breakup land.

For those who are unfamiliar with my story...Almost 3 months ago my boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me, then a couple of weeks later dumped me with an e-mail, saying that he didn't want a girlfriend at that time. He actually had started a relationship with his nephew's former girlfriend, 3 days after the nephew and the girlfriend broke up.

I went through the usual emotional reaction, feeling sad, depressed, anxious, etc. for a while. I talked to him about 3 times in the first month, then since his girlfriend was exhibiting some extremely jealous and possessive behaviors, including making him delete his social networking profile, deleting numbers from his phone, forbidding him to see any friends or family members unless she approved, I decided to go 100% "no contact". I found that I would have either severe anxiety or severe depression after seeing him or talking to him, so it really did me a lot of good to just avoid any contact.

The good news is, after the first few weeks, I gradually started to feel better! No more anxiety, no more depression, no more sadness...it just seemed like every day was better than the day before. It did help that I heard from various sources that he'd gotten involved in some destructive behaviors and was allowing the new girlfriend to completely run his life. All that just made him so unattractive to me that I actually felt relief to be free of him.

Now, recently for some reason, the new girlfriend had begun to harass me. I was getting e-mails and IMs supposedly from him, but they didn't make any sense. So I texted him simply to let him know that "someone" was using his e-mail and his IM screen name to harass me. He ended up calling me a few times to discuss this, and also to tell me that "people" were telling a lot of lies about him (this was because he has been basically disowned by his entire family and group of friends for having a relationship with his nephew's girlfriend that started while they were still together). So the "no contact" was broken, but amazingly enough, I still feel fine! It doesn't bother me one bit to hear his voice and I haven't had one second of yearning to be with him. I just feel lucky to be free of the lying cheater and get some satisfaction knowing that he probably expects me to have fallen apart, and it's obvious I haven't.

So I just want to let those who have been through a recent breakup know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! It is true that time helps to heal, and that even if you feel distraught and think you'll never feel better, you can and will. My life is much better than it was, and I have hope for the future. And I feel terrific! Oh, and definitely, "no contact" is the way to go. You can't possibly heal if you are seeing or talking to the one who broke your heart.

I just hope my story gives someone going through the pain of a breakup hope. You can get through this!





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