It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


My boyfriend and I have been together for a 2 years and 7 months. In that time, our relationship has been pretty good, except for one particular area. He has been friends with a guy (we'll call him Michael) for 16 years and whenever Michael calls him up to hang out, my boyfriend ditches me- even if we had prior plans!

Tonight, was Michael's birthday and we were going to go to his b-day bbq. Then, last minute, Michael decides it's going to be a guys night thing and my boyfriend sends me a text to say that Michael changed his mind and no girls are going to the party. Yes, our plans were to go to Michael's party, but I feel like I've been ditched again. I'm sitting here, on the computer because I didn't have time to make any other plans for Saturday night, since I thought I was already doing something.

It wouldn't be that big of deal, but my boyfriend turns into a jerk every time this guy snaps his fingers to hang out. I can't figure out why... my boyfriend can do whatever he likes, with whomever he likes, and we do things with our friends outside of the relationship. I'm just sick and tired of him not considering OUR plans, whenever Michael wants to do something.

When we started dating, my boyfriend went to Michaels house, and told me he'd call me in two hours so we could go out (HIS idea, not mine) and he never called. Another time, he went to Michael's daughter's birthday party, and we were supposed to go out after (again, HIS idea...) and he texted me at 6 saying, "we're saying our goodbyes now." Then two hours later, I called HIM to see if he was going to be free that night. Once, we had plans to go to the movies. Michael called cause he wanted to go to GNC and look at vitamins and... no movies for me!

Lastly, we were supposed to go camping on the weekend of Memorial day or Labor day... I get the two confused. It's the one that happens in May. Anyway, he told me that Michael had backstage passes to the WWE that same weekend, but he'd rather go camping with me. A situation with his mother prevented us from going camping. That same weekend, there was also a big concert I wanted to go to. Now, mind you, I was going to miss this concert because we were going to go camping and I was totally cool with that; I'd much rather be in a tent in the middle of nowhere than anywhere else. However, when we ended up saying in town, I told my boyfriend that I was going to go to the concert, since we weren't going camping and he asked to come along with me. I told him that was fine and I was really excited. 2 days before the concert, he told me he was going to go to WWE. I was so hurt and angry because my boyfriend asked ME if he could come with me to the concert. He made me feel like something better had come along and he wanted to do that instead.

How do I handle this? Whenever I point out that he turns into a jerk around Michael, he gets angry. I told him it's just this ONE friend that it happens around, but he blames me and says I just don't like Michael and he's sorry, "we've been friends for 16 years and he's one of my best friends." This has happened numerous times. We have plans and he breaks them for another guy. I know things come up, and I'm flexible, but this has become a pattern. He also breaks out plans with no consideration to me. If he was like, "I know we have plans to go to the movies, but can we go a little earlier or later (or another day!) because Michael wants to go to look at vitamins" then things would be a little bit better. Instead, he just ditches me... saying, "Michael wants to go look at vitamins and I'm going to go with him." That's rude....

Help! Any suggestions? How can I show him it's not that i want to control him, but that I want him to treat me with consideration and respect our plans, even if this guy calls him out of the blue. How can I get him to stop blaming me for not liking his friend and get him to see that it's HIM who is causing us problems? I like all of his other buddies... I am an easy-going girlfriend. I'm just tired of being ditched whenever Michael snaps his fingers.

Sorry for how long this is....





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:25 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!