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It doesn't mean simply doing nice things for people. It means going so overboard with wanting everyone else to be happy that you ignore your own needs in an unhealthy, borderline pathological manner. Like, turning a blind eye to your spouse having an affair because that's what he/she wants and you can't fathom losing them. Or buying alcohol for your alcoholic daughter even though she's been warned if she keeps drinking she will die soon, because she asks for it and says she won't speak to you again unless you get it for her (I know someone who's doing this). Or having pizza for dinner several nights a week because your boyfriend likes it, even though you hate it or it makes you sick (me).

Nikita, your ex is doing an excellent job of reminding you why you don't need him in your life. I hope your employer understands that this guy is a nut job and doesn't buy in to what he's trying to do. You might get to the point of needing a restraining order forbidding him to contact you. At the very least, change your phone number and if you have a receptionist at work, ask her/him to not transfer his calls.
[QUOTE=Redneon82;4062449]It doesn't mean simply doing nice things for people. It means going so overboard with wanting everyone else to be happy that you ignore your own needs in an unhealthy, borderline pathological manner. Like, turning a blind eye to your spouse having an affair because that's what he/she wants and you can't fathom losing them. Or buying alcohol for your alcoholic daughter even though she's been warned if she keeps drinking she will die soon, because she asks for it and says she won't speak to you again unless you get it for her (I know someone who's doing this). Or having pizza for dinner several nights a week because your boyfriend likes it, even though you hate it or it makes you sick (me).

[COLOR="Red"]Ok I'm not that bad, I used to cut my G/F's grass, if she worked all day I made dinner, watched her kids when they were sick things I thought were favors...[/COLOR]


Nikita, your ex is doing an excellent job of reminding you why you don't need him in your life. I hope your employer understands that this guy is a nut job and doesn't buy in to what he's trying to do. You might get to the point of needing a restraining order forbidding him to contact you. At the very least, change your phone number and if you have a receptionist at work, ask her/him to not transfer his calls.[/QUOTE]





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