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Relationship Health Message Board


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I am married to my husband for 6 years now. He is extremely anti social. We meet working as waiters, so we worked long hours and had little need for socialising after work. I did not see any apparent signs of anti-social behaviour. After we got married, we moved half way across the world, to live in his home town. So, I left my family and friends. I am not shy and gets on well with his family and friends. However, every attempt of mine to get friends or to socialise is short lived. He prefer to just stay at home or go out only with me and our two small kids. Even though his family members stays about a 5 minute drive from us, we only see them 2 to 3 times a year.

Since my children go to childcare and we are both am working full time, we have regular invitations to work functions and children's parties. He never wants to go to any event. He uses the kids as an excuse for not attending work functions. If he goes he will be grumpy. If I go alone with my kids, he will be grumpy and give some ridicilous ultimatum, e.g. be back in 30 minutes time.

Whenever my family members comes to visit (which entails flying for 13 hours and thousands of dollars), he cannot even be the least bothered to entertain them or to even sit down and have dinner with them. During a recent visit of my brother, my husband came home from work, went to the room and closed the door. And stayed there the whole evening, every evening.

When one of my local friends come to visit, he grabbed the vacuum cleaner and started vacuuming the house, even though I have done so before my friend came.

I am so lonely and sad. I have 2 small kids, but not a single person to turn to for help and support. It feels as if my husband is jealous and thinks that no one is worth his time and effort.





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