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Relationship Health Message Board


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Ok so I have to preface the current situation with some info from our past. My boyfriend and I had his mother visit a few years ago for his graduation. They live on the east coast so we don't see them very often as a couple, although he visits them a couple times a year at least. They came in time for his birthday which happened to fall on mothers day and she asked him if they could spend it with "just family" meaning everyone in my house except me, the girlfriend, mind you i had only met them once before this and my feelings were pretty hurt. They were staying with us and his brother and cousin were our roommates so basically she was trying to exclude me from his birthday. I wasn't even aware of this exchange because I was working but my bf stood up for me and said he wanted to spend his birthday with his family AND his girlfriend. She waited until he was gone and walked into my bedroom while I was sleeping and pressured me into agreeing to let them go out without me. I was obviously upset but she got her way. Needless to say there was a bit of unspoken tension for the rest of their stay. Months after she continued to call my boyfriend crying because he had hurt her feelings by standing up to her and wanting to include me. They left and since then she seemed to warm up to me, exchanging friendly phone calls, cards, and emails. About a week ago my bf fell and broke his back. On the way to the er I called his parents to inform them of the situation and throughout his stay in the hospital I kept them updated on his condition as they tried to find a flight out here before his surgery. I spent three days cleaning him, helping deal with paperwork, and generally making all decisions to ensure he got the best of care. They showed up and since they don't have a lot of money I offered to have them in our spare bedroom bc it would save money and then they could be near him when he gets out of the hospital. She responded "Oh no I won't go back there. Too many bad memories" which made me feel pretty awkward since I was extending welcome to them and I have been nothing but nice to them. She could have said no thank you I have a hotel, but she had to make it a persona jab at me. Even my bf commented later in private that it had been immature. So that evening I left to go home and shower and take a nap for the first time in FIVE DAYS and when I got back they had decided he would convalesce at her hotel instead of at home, and all kinds of things are going on and I'm shut out of the loop! She is ultra clingy and everyone tiptoes around her to avoid hurting her feelings, but what about my feelings? I just feel like she is making it so it will be difficult to see him for me. Since she didnt want to come to my home and be around me she is taking him to where she is, but if she doesnt want to be around me then i feel like shes not going to want me to visit. I have always felt like she feels in competition with me, but of course I never expect to replace his mommy. I'm his GIRLFRIEND and he should be able to have both. I'm very distressed about this whole thing and I can't even get an answer from him about how long he will be gone. I feel like they are just pushing me out of his life and he is allowing it.





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