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I struggle with this almost every day as well. I know it's hard, when you don't have "the American Dream," a loving wonderful spouse, companionship, security, regular sex, 2.5 kids, the picket fence, PTA, soccer practice, etc etc etc, it's really hard not to look at your life as something you're stuck with that you have to make the best of, rather than something you actually want to or get to do.

But after 12 or so years of using every online dating service known to mankind, and literally hundreds of horrible, nightmarish blind dates, I look at it this way - I believe that finding your soul mate and being happily partnered, is really a blessing that the powers that be either decide to give you or they don't. It's like being able to sing like Whitney Houston, or dance like Baryshnikov, or do math like Einstein. It's not somethign you can decide to have, it's not something you can create or make happen for yourself. God either gives it to you or he doesn't. And how much sense does it make to sit at home crying being depressed because you can't sing like Whitney Houston, or because you don't look like Giselle? You take as much joy as you can in the little blessings and pleasures in life.

Now, I will always be sad I never got to know love, that I never got to have a family or children, and I will most likely grow old and die alone, and that doesn't thrill me. there will always be a little hole in my soul that's left by the fact that I didn't get to know the kind of happiness that seems so intrinsic, such an important part of the experience of being human. I live eery day acutely aware that I"ve missed out on something pretty important, but at the same time, something that many people actually never know. Half the married couples out there aren't nearly as happy as they let on. So don't envy what you think other people have. I have other cool stuff in my life that I love and that I get to do, and I don't get to make the most of them unless I am fully present and fully engaged in it and fully commited to bringing my A game to it, no matter what it is. Life isn't always about getting all the things you want. Sometimes, for some of us, it's about playing the best game you can with the hand you were dealt. I've totally turned it over to my higher power and have faith that I have what I'm supposed to have and don't have what I wasn't meant to have in my life. Hope this helps some. Good luck.
[QUOTE=Larrylou'smom;4070980][COLOR="Gray"]I struggle with this almost every day as well. I know it's hard, when you don't have "the American Dream," a loving wonderful spouse, companionship, security, regular sex, 2.5 kids, the picket fence, PTA, soccer practice, etc etc etc, it's really hard not to look at your life as something you're stuck with that you have to make the best of, rather than something you actually want to or get to do.

But after 12 or so years of using every online dating service known to mankind, and literally hundreds of horrible, nightmarish blind dates, I look at it this way - I believe that finding your soul mate and being happily partnered, is really a blessing that the powers that be either decide to give you or they don't. It's like being able to sing like Whitney Houston, or dance like Baryshnikov, or do math like Einstein. It's not somethign you can decide to have, it's not something you can create or make happen for yourself. God either gives it to you or he doesn't. And how much sense does it make to sit at home crying being depressed because you can't sing like Whitney Houston, or because you don't look like Giselle? You take as much joy as you can in the little blessings and pleasures in life. [/COLOR]

[B]Now, I will always be sad I never got to know love, that I never got to have a family or children, and I will most likely grow old and die alone, and that doesn't thrill me. there will always be a little hole in my soul that's left by the fact that I didn't get to know the kind of happiness that seems so intrinsic, such an important part of the experience of being human. I live eery day acutely aware that I"ve missed out on something pretty important, but at the same time, something that many people actually never know. Half the married couples out there aren't nearly as happy as they let on. So don't envy what you think other people have. I have other cool stuff in my life that I love and that I get to do, and I don't get to make the most of them unless I am fully present and fully engaged in it and fully commited to bringing my A game to it, no matter what it is. Life isn't always about getting all the things you want. Sometimes, for some of us, it's about playing the best game you can with the hand you were dealt. I've totally turned it over to my higher power and have faith that I have what I'm supposed to have and don't have what I wasn't meant to have in my life. Hope this helps some. Good luck.[/B][/QUOTE]

I think this is where I'm at. It isn't what I had hoped for, but playing the game the best way I know how, trying to find meaning in whatever I can. I hope that a higher power will have compassion, but won't insist upon it.





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