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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=Redneon82;4072569]If it bothers you that he's traveling and living his own life excluding you, then maybe you should reconsider this "roommates" arrangement. It has to be one way or the other...either you are a committed married couple involved in each others' lives, or you are strictly roommates, which would mean you really don't have the right to get upset when he excludes you and lives his own life. Or perhaps there's just a bit of envy because he can get out and about and you can't? If you two agreed to be roommates, then you can't in all fairness begrudge him traveling and going out with friends.

What about any family? Girlfriends you can have over to watch movies, chat, have lunch? And as for the online thing, are you looking for a man to take over so to speak for your husband? Unfortunately, it's hard to find a man who is willing to "take on" a woman who is ill. I have health problems too and while mine are less serious (I am able to work and go out visiting friends), I am hard-pressed to find a man who understands that I can't stay out until 2 or 3 am, I can't jog or work out or participate in most sports, and I can't really drink alcohol, plus I get tired so easily and am on a severely restricted diet. It's difficult, but if you find someone please let me know because I'd like to find someone like that too![/QUOTE]

Well, I guess being a counselor at least helps me understand the process I have to go through. It's called "grieving" e.g. shock/denial/bargaining/anger/depression/acceptance. According to the # of years you've been with someone, regardless of the quality, or unless he's been replaced, that could take a long time

Fortunately, I'm a strong spirited, independent woman and until 10 years ago was quite content. Of course I'm not happy at my limitations, but it's not because I'm envious of his getting out, it's because of the way he treated me at the beginning of all of this. And now I'm alone, and I've "never" lived alone in my entire life.

But I'm a survivor and a huntress, so regardless of the outcome of this change, I will continue to seek out that kind hearted man til the day I'm gone. Ever heard of other men who have illnesses, and would love to have a nice companion?? Well, they're out there; just have to "Reach out".

Too many details to describe why right now a caregiver is not the answer, but if & when that new guy comes along, well a big change could occur. I'm not a prophet, but am one who has seen miracles in my long life.

I'll keep you posted in the event I do find that guy; maybe he'll have a relative that you'll get to have!!!

Healing light....................carole

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