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What do you all think about guys who seem obsessed with their friends? I've started dating a new guy, we've been dating almost 2 months. It's been great but a little weird and different for me. Our first date was dinner and he immediately asked me to have dinner with him at his friends house 2 days later, then a few more dinners and then a lot of dates with his friends. A weekend away together just the two of us and then a weekend away together at his friends' home. I love when guys have tons of friends, I think that men with a lot of friends means confidence and is such a positive thing. This is a very social guy. He's 43 , never married and has told me that he is now looking for his life partner and wants to get married and have a child. That his previous relationships never worked out because he wasn't ready or he had to travel a lot and go overseas. Isn't it weird to tell someone this upfront? Yet I know full well that if I was to state to him upfront well I'm looking for a committment and would eventually like to get remarried, he'd probably freak, especially when we are only 2 months into this.

i love that he has so many friends but he seems more comfortable with friends then with intimacy. He's everyone's best friend, all of his close friends are married couples and he's invited to all of their events, so now he has me to bring. He's an uncle to all of their children and now he wants his own. It seems he can never be alone and he can never not make a plan months in advance, he's so booked. he told me that this is the problem whenever he starts a new relationship, that he's not a guy to sit around and do nothing and he occupies all of his time but that he will slowly be integrating me into his life, and he is, but it is slow and i have to almost book time with him in advance. He wants to meet my friends, but he's always booked, he's obsessed with friends . He has a decent relationship with his parents but doesn't appear particularly close. I feel insecure that I don't have tons and tons of friends and am not always booked like he is, I dont' even want that.

It's too early for me to say too much. He always books a day with me here and there, and he wants to make plans to travel with me this winter but several things are worrying me and I'm scared to invest too much emotion in to this. So far my schedule has been flexible but it's about to get crazy with my own work, social and family demands, here are my worries;

-he can't ever seem to be alone
-he never asks me what i want out of a relationship, he never asks me much, mostly defines things by what he wants
-He can't climax from regular sex, he requires excessive stimulation but he's highly sexual
-when we go out with his couple friends, he always flirts with the wife and he's pretty non-threatening so no one minds, except me!
-he never stops making sexual jokes
-he can't seem to just be alone with me unless we are planning an activity or to go away somewhere
-I feel like i have to pass a test with his friends, that he can't just feel that I'm great w/o friends' endorsement
-today we are walking to dinner behind his friends and he says if we put our incomes together we'd be formidable, which is true, when I make jokes about the things we could buy, he says, well I want a kid you know, totally out of context and inappropriate.

I like him, these things don't bother me yet, but based on my experience dating men, they are red flags and I don't know how to react, if I should bring some of these things up, if I should date other men, I'm not sure he's right for me because these things make me feel awkward but he's fine, I enjoy his company and Im very attracted to him, and I like his friends.

Is this a worrisome pattern? Should I be on guard or just let things ride out?





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