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Reading your additional posts, there are likely a few things at play.

Firstly, this staff member who is married and is always dragging married guys or guys who are in relationship along to bars is most likely taking these types of males with him as it gives him credibility. Most likely his own wife doesn't like him going to these places but if he says "it's ok, i'm going with so and so (who is married or taken" she most likely gets off his back and trusts him more so than if he's going with a single guy.

Maybe this guy is all talk, maybe he needs a regular ego boost and he gets it by flirting with other women. Some ultra flirty guys are good at talk and flirting, but if a woman really wanted to go ALL the way these guys would run a mile. I had a boss like this once. The things he'd say at work and about women were amazing and talk about flirting!! But as soon as his wife would turn up he'd turn into a totally different guy and he knew his wife had him right were she wanted him. Also if a woman did make a pass at him he wouldn't have known what to do or how to take it from there. I don't think his wife trusted him totally, but if she'd asked me i could have told her she had nothing to worry about.

As for your partner, it is great that he does help with your son. Is it his son too or your child from another relationship? as that can sometimes have a bearing on things too.

It must have been difficult for him to move to a whole knew place and not know anybody. Males do need their alone time with other males away from women were they can discuss there usual stuff, which women aren't interested in, to death. It so happens that your partner appears to only have this one guy as a main friend and that's most likely due to this staff member working for you, which makes it easier to get to know him.

It sounds as to me that you are basically happy with the majority of your relationship and the real fly in the ointment is this staff member and your partner going to bars with him. Is there any way of meeting new people and getting involved with new people and forming friendships? Something the two of you could do together maybe and meet other couples and your partner could become friends with one of the husbands or partners and you with the wife/girlfriend. Meeting more new people who don't hang around at bars would be ideal. This would give him other avenues of friendship and interests.

I wouldn't necessarily get rid of your partner if most things are good between you. You need to find other ways of working around this issue of his new friend and hanging out at bars. I'm not in your shoes so i dont know how bad the situation is. Could you visualise living without him, can you make a list of pro's and con's. Staying with him, what are the pro's and con's. What are the things which make him happy, what makes you happy, are any of the happy things which you share in common. Nobody likes to not be trusted, but then again we all like to feel we can trust our partner. It's hard living with mistrust. It's also hard having someone at you all the time. He knows you don't like the staff member for what he's doing, but he's still going to go out with him. The more you are at him the more it will lead to arguements, so some form of stalemate needs to occur, otherwise it all ends up like a broken record. I'm not saying you have not right to be at him, but after the first few times that loses effect and he's not going to give a fig how much you complain. So that kind of brings you back round to square one. I do hope you reach solutions. Good luck :)





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