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Hi all,

I need some advice on my boyfriend, not sure how long i can carry on.

He's 26 im 30, we have been together 13 months, we dont live together.

I am finding it increasing difficult to put up with his ways. He is very stubborn and will never back down on arguments (over silly things) i always find myself text/call him first even when its not my fault, because other wise were not talking can go on for days. We fell out today again (that's why im on here :-) we work together and on our way to work he put the window down in the car and i asked him to put it up as i was cold and he wouldn't, so i asked again and he shouted at me. One of his texts to me today was "its my car so if i want the window down i will have it down"

Now for a woman i hardly ever moan and nag at him, yet he moans all the time (and he has admitted that himself) i am sick of making the small sacrifices in realtionships for him because he is always moaning about something i.e when he comes round to mine, he likes the light off or he always wants to turn my heater off, open my window because its hot etc.. and i never shout at him and say no i want the light kept on.. I feel like he can moan day every day, yet i can't once in a blue moon.

So i told him i wanted tonight on my own, which is something i have never done before over something so small. I am sick of giving in to him, i know these things sound silly, but there getting to me.

He is exteremly sensitive and so am i, yet he persits in winding me up over things and he can see im at boiling point and i will tell him i am yet he will still push it furthur and then has a go at me because i snapped at him. Yet if i do that to him he will shut me out and wont talk to me and sends hurtfull texts. Why can't i get him to understand that when im at boiling point he needs to stop and not carry on.

Only last week i was telling him about somone at work who had got a caricature done of him and his girlfriend and he fell out with me, told me it was inapproiate of me to get so enthuisastic and impressed about him doing that, i explained that i was impressed by the picture and even then it took 2 days for him to come round and i had to make the first move. The day after it happened, i texted him in the morning to say i was not going to work as i was ill and he never called me to see if i was okay (that hurt me, i would of called him to see if he was okay, even if we was not talking)

He's love for me can be very intense and i can say something and he takes it all the wrong way and in an instant he can change and be exteremly hurtfull with his words. I have looked into BPD but he has never shown any signs of self harm or threatened to and he can spend days away from me when we fall out. We went out the weekend and he said hurtfull things that i was easily replacable and he does not love me..., after he bombared me with text and calls the next day i gave in (yes i know he was drunk) but i feel i should of held out longer because i know if i had said that too him, it would of taken days for him to come round.

He never really sees his friends and never goes out, does not like drinking(im not complaining about that, just wanted to put it on here) he always says i should see my friends more, but i feel like he just says it and does not mean it.
One of my friends came round to mine and i said i would call him when she went so he could come round and he called me saying has she gone yet can i come round or on other occasions he will text me and say what you doing with your friend and if i dont reply straight away he will get funny with me.

On our hols 2 wk ago, he drove off and left me the first day said i was disrespectfull and i should of told him how long i was going to take to get ready. I was 15 mins, its not my fault he chose to sit in the car and wait he new what i was doing, if he wanted to know how long i was going to be he should of asked. ( i am very quick to get ready, because he is so impatient i though being on hol he would chill out and i wanted to make my self look nice) four hrs later he comes back and i say to him you was half an hour late yesterday picking me up and he says "that's my right i'm the driver"

I found out later his dad used to drive off and leave his mom when they were together. I also found out that his ex girlfriend would do anything for him, his step mom said basically if he told her to put her hand in the fire she would do it.

I think he can't handle me because i stand up to him, although i have backed down a lot more lately. I do love him and i need to be more forcefull with him, i want it to work. He has Anxiety (confimerd by private doctor) OCD not diagnosed.

I just can't stand the one minute you on top of the world and the next he is storming of over the sillliest things.

I feel he is always in competition with me over everything i.e games/if i but somethign he has to/ i applied for another job and i felt like he did not want me to get it, that he did not want to be stuck in our old job if i got the new one. Yet he is currently in the last stage of applying for the RAF as intelligence analyst and i am worried with his anxiety and OCD how he will cope.

I have never felt anything for any of my ex's, the way i feel about him, he is exteremly loving. will but me cards and presents for no reason and is always telling me he wants his future with, i just want to sort out his issues, its hard bringing them up to him, he seems to take offence. I guess he does not want to admit his weakness.

His stepmom told me only last week, that he has told her, he does not know how i put up with him and his moods and his stubborness and that he cuts his nose of to spite his face and i was quite surprised. why can't he tell me that!!!


If your still reading this many thanks, any advice appreciated.





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