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[QUOTE=pendulum;4107936]You may stutter and everything, but your written description of this "relationship" is really very impressive. I hardly could believe what I was reading. You have made it: at the end you had already got me to really dislike and disapprove of your girlfriend's behaviour. [/quote]

This post makes her out to be a total bitch, but that's the nature of these forums, right? People will only post if it's really good or really bad. The thing is, she's not a terrible person - she is quite selfless and considerate with others. But she has made it quite clear that she has the highest expectations w/ her SO (me).

[QUOTE=dolejaly;4108081]Unfortunately as we all know that their is no picture perfect fairy tale in ANY relationship, regardless of what some might say they have. But, I do agree w/ the other posters here, if something doesn't change now it never will.

You mention these problems that you are having w/ her but are you ready to make them stop? Do you really want advice or do you want someone to tell you that you are right and she is wrong? These are some of the things you need to ask yourself. [/quote]

I do want advice. I'm not the type of person that just wants everyone to sympathize and agree with me - if I need to change something about myself, let me hear it.

I don't know if I'm ready to make these things "stop." I don't have the spine to break up with her... it may be because I am afraid of her reaction, and the imagined confrontation that will occur. It makes my heart race even thinking about it (my social anxiety kicking in)

[quote]Although none of us really like to play games and unfortunately she is playing games w/ controlling you and your actions on how you respond. I understand no one ever feels and thinks like their partner at all times, but the bottom line is to respect each persons feelings and from what you say you do not receive that. In all reality what do you think she would do if you turned the game around. Do exactly as she accuses you of, don't respond during her tantrums, and explain that when she can talk to you civil you will talk, if she gives you the silent treatment, gladly accept it and return the favor, makes a lot less words said to make the matter worse. [/quote]
I have "returned the favor" before, and it resulted in her saying that "I don't really care" and her "feeling like she's already over me" if I don't call her back for a day or something.

Maybe I'm really insecure, but when she says stuff like that, I automatically start to apologize and try to get things right, even if it means I apologize for things I don't feel I should.

I hate how she treats me sometimes, but at the same time, I can't bring myself to break things off or stand up to her in a stronger way.

[quote]It sounds to me that she worries more about losing you in the long run, maybe you should tell her by her own actions that she is pushing you away and if she tries to turn it around get up and walk away and tell her when she is ready to discuss it like an adult then you two will talk, but until then you have things to do. If she can not accept the way you have shown her you love her then she might have the wrong guy for her...Believe me she will think twice before she continues to pull games if she really doesn't want to lose you.[/quote]

Sounds like good advice. I'll be sure to tell her this next time. I think you may be onto something that she is 'scared to lose me in the long run.'

One of the times we "broke up," she was acting like she was totally fed up and done with me, and when I started reciprocating and telling her I understood that maybe we weren't working out anymore, she started crying and saying that I "won't even try to get us back together."

Sigh. Not sure how to deal with this.

[quote]Can I ask how old you guys are?[/QUOTE]
We're both 21.


Update: She apologized to me the other day after I gave her a half-assed attempt at the silent treatment. She told me she was "sorry for being pissed off and mean" to me, and even though I should've been tough with her given that this wasn't the first time, I accepted and we met up and went out to make up.

Now things feel better, but in the back of my mind I'm just wondering when the next time she'll berate me will be. It's like we go through constant cycles of being really good, then feeling shitty about the relationship.





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