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from what i have read on this site a lot of women have this same problem. i just really am tired of wondering and worrying about this deal...i mean, in 3 months my bf has really never given me a reason to not believe anything he tells me. he has been pretty up-front and honest with most things he tells me. there have been a couple of tiny things that caused me a little grief but nothing major. but this one thing goes back and forth in my head a lot...sometimes i am totally at ease with things and don't worry at all, but then there are times when i literally make myself sick with worry. i have already posted about this but couldnt find it so here goes again...sorry. i have known my bf almost all our lives. they have been friends for about the past a5 years. she is married and we have been together for 3 months in a bf/gf way. friends forever before that...but not really in touch over the years due to college, both married and having kids and the usual things that happend in life. then we both moved back to hometown and ran into each other. started hanging out as friends for a couple of months, then realized around the end of july that we were having way more than friendly feelings...thank goodness i wasnt the only one!! but anyway, this is the deal...i met this girl(and her husband)early in this relationship. he has never tried to keep me away from her... on the contrary, he encourages she and i to spend time together. we have hung out with her and husband on several ocassions and also just me, my bf, and his girl/friend. but its the way he looks at her and how i feel like the 3rd wheel when its just the 3 of us. if he is telling us about something that happened, at work or whatever, he looks at her about 90% of the time when he's talking. its like im not there and even when her husband is there its kinda like that. one night we were in their hot-tub and my bf and the other g/f sat and talked and her husband and i were basically just sitting there. and i don't want to engage her husband in a separate conversation bcuz i dont want to upset her. she and i are alike in A LOT of ways...insecurity in our relationship and doubting the way that our respective men love us being just one of the things we have in common. her husband is great also. i mean, they are both just truly nice people and i dont really think that she would do that to her hubby. and i dont THINK my bf would do that to me with anyone else really, but i just think there is something different about the way he treats this girl although he denies it profusely. is this something worth taking up space in my head or am i just being ridiculous? because i know more than anything how i can make something out of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. the thing is that i love this man, more than i ever thought i could love anyone again. and i think what we have is so precious. i just dont ever want to be made an ass out of again the way i was in my previous marriage. you know, things going on basically right in front of your face and you just go on and pretend not to see it. meanwhile, the whole world is watching your husband carry on with other women and not saying anything about it. i dont think i could handle anything like that happening to me again. i truly believe that God finally gave me the person that i was meant to be with and i don't want to mess things up, but i don't want to sit back while something sorry is going on either. would God put us together after everything i have been through only to let something horrible happen?
Well, God may have put the two of you in the same place at the same time, but He has nothing to do with what happens next. That's up to you and your guy.

I know this can be tough. Nagging him or goign on to him about it will only make him upset and defensive. I say just bide your time, be a nice person and a good girlfriend, but keep your eyes and ears open. Your past experiences quite possibly are making you overly suspicious, but at the same time, I have to agree, I'm not really liking what you're saying about his behavior around this woman. You should not be feeling like a third wheel, especially at this stage of the relationship. Give it a little more time and see how things play out. As much as a downer as it may be, I think you do have to go into every relationship prepared to let it go someday. That lifelong, soul mate "the one MEANT for me" kind of love happens, but it's so rare, it's like spending your whole paycheck on lotto tickets expecting to win 75 million. Of course some people do, but what are the chances it's going to be you? You can't love someone and be this scared to lose them. it just makes you insecure, paranoid, and bonkers. Love him, enjoy the time you have with him, but if he's into this other chick more than he's into you, then that's his choice and there's just not much you can do about that but play the relationship out, enjoy it while it lasts, and walk away with your head held high when it's over.





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