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[B]Pendulum[/B], I really don't know why neither of them have girlfriends. Matt has some very very slight mental problems that make him a little socially awkward, so that might turn some women off. Rory hasn't really actively looked for a girlfriend in over a year and he's a little shy and has bad self-esteem. Both are very sweet guys, so I don't know why they're both still single.

[B]XPCandy[/B], no, I haven't told BF about these crushes because I didn't think it was really necessary. If he asked, I'd tell him, but I don't want him worrying that I'm going to up and leave him.

Hi again, [B]Larrylou'sMom[/B] :). I should probably clarify that I was only ever really vocal about my envy once with Matt, and I was reluctant to say anything because I felt like a jerk even feeling jealous. But I have actually encouraged Matt to pursue more-than-friendships with some of the women he's met where he lives (he's about 900 miles away). I don't get [I]as[/I] jealous anymore, but I wouldn't tell him of my jealousy ever again if I felt any.

But I know better now than to tell these friends if I ever get jealous of their female friends. And as far as any kind of PDA, I hate doing anything of the sort even with my boyfriend...I never let him put his arm around me or hold my hand in public. This is an ingrained fear left over from high school when I had to be afraid of getting suspended for kissing or hugging my then-boyfriend in the hallway. So, I wouldn't let a friend do these things when I don't even let my BF do them.

I get jealous because I do reciprocate those crush feelings for both of them, but I can't do anything about them. Trying to forget a crush is a lot easier said than done. And I don't exactly mind if they think about me romantically; I'm quite flattered that they do.

Deep down, I think a tiny part of me would get insanely jealous if either of them found a girlfriend because it would mean I wouldn't be able to talk as much to them or go visit them or have any kind of physical contact with them (like hugging, or playing with hair; Rory's got a ponytail and I'm usually playing with it when I visit him). So I'd probably feel immediate (and involuntary) hate toward any woman who dated them because I'd feel like she was jeopardizing my friendship with these guys. I wouldn't SAY I felt that way, though. But I've never done anything to try and sabotage attempts or thoughts from either Matt or Rory as far as finding a partner.

[B]Rosequartz[/B]...honestly, yes, I am incredibly flattered these two have feelings for me, but I really don't want those feelings to prevent them from being lonely. But even if I left my boyfriend, I would have no idea if I would want to be with Matt or Rory. I'd be too scared of breaking someone's heart and then still have to deal with the envy of whoever I did not choose.
That "friend" ignores the fact that you have a boyfriend?! And your considering living with him?! Bad idea. You'll be a bedroom away in the same house every night laying next to him on the couch and 'playing with his hair'. Probably will mostly be alone with him too, considering you said that you both are lonely and socially limited with friends. And you say nothing will happen. You insist on believing that. My experiences lead me to think otherwise.

It is good for friends to be honest with each other. One would hope so. It's part of the position. But that doesn't mean you must say every single thing that creeps up in your head. You could have just said to them that you enjoy their company and are glad that they are there for you. That would have been the truth too. Saying what you did, that you had a crush on them, was ALL wrong creating misconceptions and confusion. All it did was give them false hope.

You don't have to wait for a guy to smack you or rape you, in order to give it the "ok" to leave him. Heck, if a guy's persistent sweating and flatulence turns you off, then adios amigo. These are trivial of course, but you don't seem too sure of what qualities a great boyfriend is suppossed to possess.

You say you don't really ever flirt and usually you just have regular conversation. This implies that you DO flirt on occasion. Perhaps there is more to your interactions with these guys than you are letting on, I'm not sure though.

It's just my opinion, but this is not healthy at all.





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