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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=Redneon82;4120251]Erin, I think I saw a pic of you on another advice message board (I'm pretty sure that was you!). And, along with being intelligent, articulate and educated, you are cute as a button! I don't know anyone who hasn't been through a heartbreak no matter how much they have going for them.

My best girlfriend is like you...she is educated, intelligent, funny, got a great personality, fun, and also happens to be as pretty as a supermodel...OH, and happens to be a size 4 with natural 36-Ds! But she spent her 20s in what I can only call agony. She was searching for love, and a husband and family...all she ever wanted in life. And she had to watch as I, her best friend, got married at 22 and had a baby at 24. She came to the hospital to see me and my new baby son, and the look on her face...I felt bad because she looked sad, envious, and then guilty of being envious of her best friend! Because, it appeared, I had everything she ever wanted. While she dated one loser after another, and had a 5 year "relationship" with a jerk who was using her for sex and gave her an STD. She got to 30, then past 30...nothing. Then, one day she met her future husband at work. They married when she was 33 and now have their own daughter...while I am now divorced and in the final stages of recovery from the breakup of my most recent, 4 year relationship with a jerk loser! We have reversed!

So, we don't know what the future can hold. I understand that you feel "P" was the one for you and who you want your future to be with, but something else is waiting for you. Whether it's your future husband, some kind of accolades for work, etc., you just don't know. So you just can't decide now that you will never get what you want. You may get something completely different and not realize it was what you wanted until you get it.

And don't be envious of that other are intelligent and accomplished as well, she is NOT better than you. She just got something in life that you wanted before, but that doesn't mean her life will be better. Look at me and my best friend! Who really ended up with what she wanted?

I hope you start to feel better soon.[/QUOTE]

Redneon, you have surpassed yourself with this post!

Whatever I was going to say has turned pale in comparison...

Anyway, I think that Erin's essential mistake could be that she has confused her life dream with this particular man - P. She thought that P would make her dream come true, but reality has showed her that he was just lightning, that is, immaterial.

It could have been worse: he could have cheated on you or he could even have married you only to discover/tell you later on that you were not his type. In a way he has spared you some pain.

You must believe that your dream has not been lost, Erin. You may need a few adjustments or a new focus, but don't let pessimism and despair get the better of you. Hold on. Learn Redneon's words by heart.

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