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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Iam a 50yr woman and have been in a 15yr relationship with a 41yr man. My partner runs his own business and i do all his accounts. for the past 5 yrs things have not been quite the same due to all the stress he encounters running this business and so i try, to the best i can, to accept his mood swings. He always tells me he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me but now something has cropped up that now questions his loyalty to me. My partner has a male Business friend who we see maybe twice a year at business conventions but my partner speaks to him on a daily basis. We have only become long distance friends for approx 5yrs. The problem is is that everytime this person comes into contact with me he finds it great fun to try winding me up by implying that when they have their little meetings they are going to go off to somewhere like strip joints or chat up girls or similar. I have, in the past, just tried to ignore it as my partner tells me hes ONLY JOKING but unfortunately, recently while my partner was away at a meeting with him my partner had phoned to see how i was and this other person wanted to speak to me. I asked that he didnt pass the phone over as i just knew he would use this opportunity to get at me. Too late he was on the phone and yes there it came he was going to take my partner to a lap dancing venue close by to relieve the major headache he couldnt get rid of due to driving such a long way. At that point I just saw red and verbally abused him what i call lightly. I could hear him laughing on the other end of the phone saying that he thought he had upset me and that i wanted to be put back on to my partner. I asked my partner to phone me away from him, which he did. Again he said this person was only joking and that he himself had only just spoken to this persons wife to say about us all meeting up for christmas , which makes it even worse as why couldnt he have used the same conversation to me. As i was still reeling i unfortunately texed this person 3 very abusing text messages but impied that i too was only joking (but wasnt) but unfortunately mine didnt go down too well with him. The next day my partner went mad. He has told me i have gone over the top and sided (which he says he hasnt) with him. A week later we are just about back to normall but he says I have caused this man so much stress he is finding it hard to get over it. PLEASE TELL ME AM I THE BAD ONE HERE, AS I AM BEING MADE TO FEEL SO AND MY PARTNER WANTS ME TO APOLOGISE. This man has known in the past that i dont agree with that sort of fun as he is forever doing it to his wife.

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