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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Well, you say you have great conversations when you're in town. Do you ever talk on the phone just to talk, and not to arrange a get together when you're in town? IF so, that's a good sign. If the only time he wants to talk to you is when he knows it's going to lead to his getting his hands on you, that's not so good. If he's got an "out of town, out of mind" kind of attitude, that's not so good, either.

He sounds like he's got a lot of baggage, a lot of things he hasn't really moved on from. Take it slow. Two months just is not nearly enough time to know whether a guy is long term material or not. Staying longer to find out may be risky, and may be putting your heart on the line, but I think you're getting ahead of yourself a little bit here. If he's great to be around, the sex is great, and there's a connection, enjoy it for what it is for as long as it lasts. Women are home and hearth nurturers and men are hunters and gatherers. It's only natural for women to want to be pursued, to feel wanted, and it's only natural for men to want to pursue. I'll admit, the fact that he doesn't want to pursue you, wants you to do all the heavy lifting in the relationship, and puts you out of his mind when you're out of town, are red flags. It could be he's just scared to risk chasing after someone only to be rejected, but if he wants a serious long term relationship he's going to have to get over that. At some point he's going to have to show you that you're wanted, and missed when you're not there. maybe in time he'll grow more secure in the relationship and be able to do that. Maybe he won't. Maybe he'll always be scared. Maybe he likes a girl who has "her own life" because he's got other girls in his. I don't know. Anything's possible at this point. Which is why two months just isn't enough time to be getting so serious about him. You have no idea really what his story is.

Continue to enjoy his company, have lots of SAFE sex, call him when you feel like it, if you feel talking to him while you're out of town will make you feel lonley and sad, then don't call him when you're gone. Take care of your own emotional needs, and don't count on him to. Go down to the hotel lounge and have a drink, rent a movie, or call a family member, a good friend or someone who you KNOW WILL want to talk to you and will be glad to hear from you. If he asks why you stopped calling him from the road, tell him why honestly, just like you told us here. Enjoy the relationship for the good it has to offer for now. But it's too early to be thinking long term.





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