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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=virgoan;4124084]men respond with competition. I suggest that you go out with someone else. geta boyfriend,and if he reacts then he is interested, if not then you'llknow. he could be flattered by you, but not interested
I have a friend who i am interested. but he wont commit to a relationship. so i joined a dating site. he rings every day anto find out if i am seeing anyone. I may find someone better, who can commit. it was the best thing i did. He wont not want to see you if you go out with someone else. if you are meant to be together then you will be.[/QUOTE]

I don't think getting a boyfriend just to see if this guy gets jealous is a very nice thing to do. What if the boyfriend you "get" really likes you? Are you going to tell him that you only "got" him because you wanted to see if another guy got jealous? Then what if the first guy does get jealous? Would you just dump the boyfriend you went out and "got" because the first guy wants to date you? How would you feel if some guy "got" you just to make some other girl jealous, then dumped you when she did?

I don't advise this...but I do think you shouldn't limit yourself to waiting to see if this guy likes you. Maybe try asking him out on a date-type event (like a movie) and see how he responds. And keep your other options open.
[QUOTE=Redneon82;4124159]I don't think getting a boyfriend just to see if this guy gets jealous is a very nice thing to do. What if the boyfriend you "get" really likes you? Are you going to tell him that you only "got" him because you wanted to see if another guy got jealous? Then what if the first guy does get jealous? Would you just dump the boyfriend you went out and "got" because the first guy wants to date you? How would you feel if some guy "got" you just to make some other girl jealous, then dumped you when she did?

I don't advise this...but I do think you shouldn't limit yourself to waiting to see if this guy likes you. Maybe try asking him out on a date-type event (like a movie) and see how he responds. And keep your other options open.[/QUOTE]

thanks foru your advice....well its so confusing all this ...being kind and gentle to a shy guy and wait for him to be the same , or be difficult and indiferent so he can came closer to u ? I mean many guys like when a girl makes the first move...other say they dont it depends on the guy i guess ..but thanks for all your advices :)
While I agree with Virgoan that "men compete", I also agree with Redneon that you shouldn't go out with another guy just to make the first one jealous and do something. It may backfire to you. You may come across as hesitating and immature, to say the least.
Getting another boyfriend just to make this guy jealous is the worst advice possible. It's not fair to the fake boyfriend who might really like you and not realize you're just playing him. Not to mention that the guy that you do like would realize that you're nothing but a game player and he likely won't want to date you, either. Not only would you have lost your fake boyfriend but the real guy that you like would hate you, also. Worst idea ever.

Best thing you can do is just casually ask him out for lunch or something. It's not that big of a deal. If you like him then you may have to make the first move. Asking him to lunch is a non-threatening way of getting to know him better outside of the office.

Nevertheless, I always tell people it's a very bad idea to date anyone you work with, because when it doesn't work out then one of you will have to leave the company. It doesn't matter as much with kids who work part time jobs or something but for adults with real jobs, it's a lot more difficult to find a replacement job. So you should keep that in mind before you try to date someone you work with.
I agree - back off. For one thing, if you ask him out, you will never know if he is truly interested in having a relationship with you, or if he just accepted because you asked. You'll wonder if he thinks you just want to go to bed with him. I prefer to know that a guy is interested enough to make the first move.

For another thing, he may possibly not want to get involved because you work together. That can create many, many problems, as others have said. Supervisors are counseled not to date in the workplace to avoid harassment claims. Men in general are very leary about workplace relationships because if it blows up, they may be forced to leave or things can become very uncomfortable for them at work.

I suggest you go out and meet other men, not to make him jealous but to find someone suitable to date. Once you find other men, you will be amazed at how fast you stop thinking about him in a romantic way.





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