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Why do I do this?
Nov 15, 2009
I have a huge problem with isolating, avoiding my friends' phone calls, making plans and breaking them and not calling to even cancel, and disappearing off the face of the planet for weeks at a time. But I promise I'm not a bad person, a sociopath, and I really do care about them and love them. Most of them just sort of accept that I'm flaky and see it as a huge character flaw, but just expect me to call them back eventually. One of my best friends though, who I haven't talked to in about a month and I was the last person to try to text her, just told me via email that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. She has been disappointed by me too many times, and she doesn't want to invest anymore heartbreak in expecting me to be a friend to her. We had a talk about this a couple months ago and I promised I would change and did a good job of calling her every few days for awhile, then I slipped back into my old patterns again and made plans with her and didn't pick up her phone call when she called me.

Part of it is that I got a boyfriend, and I am one of those women that spends way too much time obsessing about and being with my boyfriends. I am what they call a "love addict." However, this was a problem before I had this boyfriend and in between boyfriends.

I wrote her back a long letter of apology, but she is right when she says actions speak louder than words. But I really DO care about her and love her and I don't even not want to talk to her when I do that. I don't mean to be mean and sometimes I don't realize how mean I'm being when I do this.
Does anyone have any ideas about why I might do this? I tried to change and then slipped back into my old patterns and I don't know why.





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