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Yeah... he says he likes to take things slow. He does talk to me every single day and spend a lot of time with me. I know I'm needy and covertly demanding. He also is not the best communicator, and I like to talk about EVERYTHING. It's either the intimacy is moving too fast for him, as we've only been dating for two months and that's his longest relationship, or he is going to turn out to be chronically unable to be intimate. I can't tell yet, and I don't know how long I'm willing to wait to "figure him out". I wish I could just chill more and enjoy what we have, because it is mostly good. I just have the feeling that he is only comfortable being in the driver's seat and having all the control in the relationship to avoid feelings of vulnerability. Meanwhile, I always feel vulnerable and like I'm asking too much of him. It's hard because all of this stuff is very, very subtle. He never says anything that shows he is trying to control me. I've just noticed that when I am in contact with him a lot, he kind of backs off, but when I don't text him for a day, he is always texting me, and it feels like it's to make sure I'm still there. I think too much, but these are just my intuitions.
Like I said, it depends on you and what you need. For me it works fine. Of course everything has a limit, I'm not saying that I would rather be with a jerk, but I like honesty myself with sugar toppings. I want to hear it the way it is. You know when we are going out and we ask them how do we look or whatever, I appreciate him telling me once in a while that he doesn't like what I am wearing, even make jokes about it at the moment. I don't get upset.
I must say it takes a while to get to that point though. Now I am old and confident enough to want a man's opinion without getting upset if I don't like what I hear. If my husband snaps once in a while, doesn't mean that he doesn't love me, or that he is trying to control me or whatever..he is just having a bad day or whatever. As long as its not something very offensive I let it go and don't even talk about it. Eventually he will come and say he is sorry for snapping, and I try to turn it into a joke like "oh yea now you owe me so how about a massage".
Like I said, it works for me..doesn't mean that it works for everybody. One thing I know though is that we women should be confident in our self to not take everything personally and not nag over every little thing.





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