It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I am really glad that I found this board! I have a small question and need some unbiased advice!

First off, thank you all in advance for taking the time to "listen"! This is going to be long and won't be able to tell you near as much as I could if I have a week to type a novel! LOL...

I have seen it on this board before and as of recent! I am another older woman in a relationship with a young "man" (if you can call 27 a "man"). It started off very passionate and as some of the other woman on these board's, he pursued me very, very heavily! I was always attracted to him but just got out of a long relationship so I wasn't ready to get involved again so soon after a bad break up! Against my better judgement I did agree to go out with him and he knew upfront about my age, that I still had a child at home and one that was living on thier own! I was infact too honest probably! But, I felt that with any age difference that the best was to be honest, so there were no surprises! I was very hesitant to continue "dating" him and even tried to call it several times! We started spending a lot and I mean a lot of time together and we started seeing each other exclusivlely! During this time everything was great and going very smoothly! I had been in a very long term marriage and after my divorce was in another relationship for a year and after that break up, I met this one! We met in January and have been dating ever since! Now, here's the "back story"! In this time of "dating" we broke up ... oh well several times! It's always because he would get "nervous" or scared about the fact that he didn't want children or that now he did! He also became very controlling (in such subtle way's that I didn't even see it, I guess you could say he is very good at manipulating situations) and couldn't find the good in any person in my life! The first time we broke up, he beraided me about the fact that I had tattoo's (all of 3 of them and very small and not that I am proud of them and will more than likely have them removed because I may have gone through a slight mid-life crisis so I have a few regret's) or that I smoked (now albeit, he smokes heavily when he drinks and sometimes even when he doesn't, but critizes me for it)! The first time we broke up it was because he decided he wanted children, I agrued the point that we could have children even though I was older and then just stopped talking for a few day's! (during these "text" war's that we would have, he always called me unstable or that i was crazy and would say things that would just cut you to the core and believe it or not, because I am an older woman, I am pretty dang stable and have a pretty simple life with great family and friends, friends until he drove them all away, making me believe that they were all crazy and unstable too). Then randomly a few day's later i get a text asking if I would really have a child with him! So, fast forward several month's later to a week ago...(all the while, we would break up, get back together, blah, blah, blah same scenario, different month) We of course were back together and "this" time was really different! We always, get along (I know, hard to imagine with only 1/3 of what I told you, because his mental abuse that he has done and I have allowed isn't even touching the surface of what I have told you) things are generally quite and easy when we are together, no arguing, no fighting, etc.! Well he has once again decided that maybe we should stop this oddball thing that we have going because he can't give me what i want! Funny thing, this person had it made in the shade! I placed NO expectations on him, he did his thing with the only friend he has and I did mine and that worked for us! Until he get's this notion that we shouldn't keep going if we know it will end one day! I am confused to say the least!
I am one of these woman that have to have clear and black and white answer's! How do you go from knowing in your heart of heart's even though it can be an not so conventional relationship with the age issue (which by the way I could care less about) and being with someone that you love and you KNOW they love you to one day it's this all over again?? I have to have closure so I made him tell me that he didn't love me and to appease me he did! I know, I know...that should be my answer! Well, as a man or woman I think that we KNOW when someone love's us and when they don't and when there are "sign's" pointing to an end, and yes I believe we get scared for whatever reason, but everytime we would break up I would tell him that this was old, this was not getting us any where and he would profess his undying love and didn't care what his family thought, didn't care if I had tattoo's and if we wanted a child we would cross that bridge when we came to it! EVERYTHING goes perfect for a few week's and BAM he does this to me all over again and again!

I have walked away this time, and have no intentions of contacting him! At one point or another, he will contact me and then I have to decided whether or not to answer! At this point, I have nothing to say, but I am however perplexed as to why a person would get so scared and flip flop so much!?

I would seriously appreciate any advice or input! I am in love with this man and thought after all of this, I did kinda find a soul mate even with the age difference!

Thanks so much for reading and giving your input!

Tami





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:18 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!