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[QUOTE=pendulum;4128170]There are so many characters in this plot, lol, that I got a bit confused...

Anyways, don't get me wrong, but I do find your current bf to be somewhat unrealistic: does he want his girlfriends to have no baggage at all? It is better not to ask questions about exes or maybe not too many questions, but I can't see why he would lose respect for the girl, if he did and if she gave a true answer. Does it mean that he will only date a virgin?

As for your question, I think you should act naturally. If you meet J at the party, you may want to say hello to him and introduce him to E as a friend. Since E doesn't ask questions about exes, what is your fear? If you are too afraid of his judgement, then I would say that this is a very shaky relationship. This is about your past. You can't change it. You may have made wrong choices, but that is your "problem". Nobody - not even a boyfriend - should make you feel ashamed or guilty of it.

If your bf can't control his anger - and I can't even see why he would get mad at you just because you and J once dated, let alone because you were at the same wedding - then you'd be better to leave him alone.[/QUOTE]

Hi Pendulum,

Thanks for your response. I do agree that, frankly, edward is being stupid about this, for lack of a better term. He is so traditional & a true alpha-male (his culture is very paternalistic/gender segregated etc, he came to my country 15 years ago but retained strong ties to his tradition). He knows I have exes, he said he doesn't want to know about them because he doesn't want to think of me differently. Which I don't really care about as I don't want to know about his exes (but that because I might feel slightly insecure. he may also but maybe it comes out as anger and losing respect for the girl).

anyway...I really don't care that Edward would think I was stupid for dating James, I could get over that easily - unless edward makes a big deal of it, which he might. He doesn't think a man is a real man unless he makes something of himself (edward is going to med school, James has not worked in 3 years and wants to leave a minimalist life). James is also really in touch with his emotions, and Edward is an aggressive alpha-male. Edward won't understand that I was with James for emotional reasons and not because of what he could give me. He just wouldn't be able to grasp that.

I was going to just invite Edward to the party and introduce James as a friend BUT im worried that if edward finds out who James really is to me (and I think, knowing my luck and the circumstances, there is a good chance of that), I think edward would feel humiliated to have been at an event where everyone in the room but he knows that James and I were recently together. At least I would be humiliated and I would have wished my partner told me before the event if the situation was reversed. [B]I guess I'm just wondering which would be the lesser of two evils - to tell him or not?[/B]

oh and the wedding is up-coming in July. and James and I have to walk down the aisle together. and Nick will be there. And I can see nick saying something to Edward about it, even telling a joke to make Edward uncomfortable (like James and I were making out or something) these men (Nick and Aaron are 30) and their cousins do juvenile stuff like this often - everyone knows they are joking, but I could see how it would bother the 'butt' of the joke.

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