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From another post in the "Relationship Health" section here, a guy mentioned an undesirable body characteristic, and from reading it, it came to my mind that for some people, looking normal is an expensive proposition. Fortunately, the guy in question has a wife who doesn't seem to care, which is awesome.

However I started thinking about my own situation. I am unlucky enough to have most of the undesireable physical male characteristics that men could have. I don't know why I was just struck with one or two, but no, I had to end up with multiples.

1. Too much body hair. This is found to be disgusting by most. . . both men and women. In Hollywood, the disgusting pervert, criminal, rapist, fool, etc. may be found with too much body hair. This translates into normal society as such a man being unattractive. I don't blame them, because it is! To fix this issue, it would take thousands of dollars of laser hair removal. I looked into JUST my neck area, and it was quoted ~$4,000 for the 10 treatments. I shutter at how much my whole back and shoulders would be!

2. Balding. I know many say that "a shaved head looks good", but not everyone thinks so. To many women, a guy's hair is important. Modern styles are [again] found on the TV or movie screen, . . . the romantic, the hero, . . . . . . . .but the bald guy is often the criminal, fool, etc. The hair growing clubs, seen on TV promise to make the bald guy look normal. Again, the cost of the process is high. Wearing a "hair hat" is a poor substitute. Monoxidil products MAY work, but not the entire hairline, and must be continued (with potential side effects) or the hair goes away again. Another money pit. . . . and ultimately a loosing one at that.

2a. Bald often is accompanied by shine. It is made fun of.

3. Short. The normal height (~5'9") of most guys is sought after more than short. Being more on the positive side of that average is important. Again, Hollywood shows how women are attracted to how tall a guy is. The short one is, again, seen as less of a man. And again, it is translated into society. There is no way to purchase height, though.

4. Moles, freckles, birthmarks, and other imperfections. Not quite as maligned, but depending on how many and where, it can be another source of a person's lack of self esteem. There are a few ways to take care of them, but more out of pocket expense.

4a. On the topic of body complection, it is often seen as "less than desirable" for a guy to be too light complected. While it isn't expensive to get yourself tan, . . . depending on skin type, the resulting trips to the dermatologist, and subsequent biopsies, or cancer removal can be expensive monetarily and emotionally.

5. Body size. If you're too fat, or too skinny, you have work to do. This may not cost much money, depending upon the program you get into, that is, . . . but it is a time consuming venture. This one, out of the 5 mentioned, though, isn't a bad thing. It is important to keep in shape. However, it CAN be tied in with the others. How many times have you seen a commercial for a work out machine, . . . the before picture shows a light complected and hairy chested guy, and an after picture of a tanned and hairless result?

All 5, of the above, I am plagued with. To make myself look normal (the societal norm, that is) would be very costly and potentially dangerous. Some would say that "I should just become comfortable with who I am", . . . but I can be the most comfortable person in the world, yet live a relatively lonely life, ONLY because of being stricken with that which society has brushed away as undesirable. It is possible to find someone who doesn't care. I know that happens, as with the aforementioned guy who has an extraordinary wife. But for those who aren't as fortunate, multiple thousands of dollars would be necessary in order to finally appear as today's normal. It is completely unfair, but as we all know, . . . life isn't fair. Never was.

This thread isn't a "what should I do about it", . . . but more of a "this is what I have discovered" topic. Having said that, . . . there are some amazing women out there who completely bypass the outside and are drawn to the inside. But down deep, I feel that the issue of physical appearance is still something they think about. That's not a bad thing. It's just nature. This thread isn't really even about them, . . . but about what I have already stated. The "cost of some to acheive normal".
This is a very interesting topic. Who doesn't like talking about what they don't like about them self because we all feel that! Feel so bad that is, about what we think is undesirable about ourselves. I have a list of things I don't like about myself, but it is a list of superficial things.
My butt is too humble for my liking.
My chest is a little large, good size, but I wish it was more firm.
I have so many freckles.
I turn heads though and never get asked out, but I think it's because someone else said, something about being out of their league. But I'm really just a shy person and don't really think so much of myself. I do try my best to have confidence and self esteem even though it's difficult sometimes.

All that aside, I truly believe it's all about how one feels about them self. It's all (mostly) about confidence and how you truly feel about yourself. Once I meet someone, after I get to know them their looks do change. I met someone once who I thought was drop dead gorgeous, and she was, but after I started to get to know her she was just a silly goofball and didn't look so gorgeous to me. Just silly. lol

I think I may be getting off topic for you EDC, but I have some friends that I am really drawn to and love. I love them for their own uniqueness, quirkiness, and for all the little things that make them their own person.
I hate hollywood and pay no attention to celebrities except for some singers I love, but I hate the whole "model, perfect" look.
I never read or look at the magazines and don't watch much tv, which I think helps.
I think it's sad that people think that the hollywood way is the way people "good looking" people are supposed to look.
Like, right now I am feeling very unattractive and fat which makes me quite self conscious and I blush easily being the fact that I'm kind of nervous when someone looks at me.

If I had to choose between being someone who is so good looking that very few people take notice of my brain or being someone who was unattractive (all in the head!) or not as good looking I still would choose to be very attractive. If someone is pretty smart and has discernment where other people are concerned it would be kind of easy to separate the truly honest people from the people who are very shallow.

Anyways I don't know what you look like EDC, but the descriptions you gave are not bad! I have met men who are so short, but there was something about them that really flipped a switch inside me and some men were very hairy, etc.... To be honest, very very very rare is it for me to find a very handsome man attractive! For real! I lean towards oddity, quirky, different, short or tall (doesn't matter), it's really all about the chemistry for me when it comes to a man. Sorry if I didn't address what you wanted addressed, but I hope I helped in some way.
;)





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