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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=digmusic;4141643]Wow, that first paragraph you wrote sounds EXACTLY like me it's almost creepy!!! I'm a psych major too, and I also only obsess about relationships. I've been glad to find that out - I thought OCD could only be people that obsessively wash their hands or are concerned about germs, but apparently there is a specific category of it called "relationship OCD" or "ROCD." I'm not like this with any of my friends or family, in fact they might find me slightly avoidant/distant. But when it comes to relationships with men, well, I spend an embarrassingly large amount of time trying to figure them out, make them better, and on and on ad infinitum. For me, going to therapy and dealing with it from an OCD perspective, dealing with obsessions and compulsions from a general angle instead of analyzing minute details of things my bf has said, is starting to help me.

I do think you're obsessing because you want answers/closure. You're trying to gain control over a situation that you have no control over whatsoever. The sooner you accept that, the better. Maybe he did try to kill himself, maybe he is avoiding you because he's gay, maybe he just doesn't like you, maybe he's in love with you, who knows? Unless you get an honest answer out of him, you'll never know. Chances are, if you talk to him, he won't give you an honest answer. It's really annoying and maybe unfair but you just have to accept that you're never going to understand this one and move on. A little time and distance and you won't even care what the answers are anymore that you're seeking.

By the way, have you worried a lot about previous boyfriends being gay? I've been convinced lately that my boyfriend is gay and keep looking for reasons to back up my claim... my therapist said that it's common for people with OCD to constantly question the sexuality of themselves or their partners. I am not trying to diagnose you or anything, but you just sound so similar to me that maybe we do have a similar problem. The only difference is you do it with all relationships, whereas I just do it with men.[/QUOTE]

omg that is insane how we have such an odd thing in common. i do obsess about relationships generally, that is what i feel is my form of OCD but when it goes down to it, its mostly my relationships with men as well. i thing i have have formed this OCD after my ex because i never used to obsess about relationships. did anything happen to you in a previous relationship???? my ex us to cheat, lie & hit me... and i was always trying to analyze the situation & try to figure him out. ahhh wow this is a relief... im not really just crazy :p

i know that i will never get answers from this guy, and i am NOT going to call him. i dont want to talk to him, the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. he is actually the first "partner" that i thought may be gay. i have never met someone so metro, and more obsessed with calories than myself. there were so many many many things in him, i have never seen in a straight man. but you are right, it could be ANYTHING for an answer/closure. i do hope the best for him, but i dont want to speak to him. so you are right again.. its just a closure thing i think. its really hard trying not to analyze when its all you know, in these type of situations you know!!!! thank you so much for replying. i dont feel so lost anymore :)

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