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I have posted about this before in many different ways, focusing on many different issues, but it all comes down to the same thing - feelings of inadequacy, fear that I'm not good enough for my partner, or that he doesn't think I'm good enough. I'm sorry I've posted so much, but it's really starting to be a problem for me and negatively affect my life, because I'm constantly reminded of it. Every time you turn on the tv, every time you walk around, there are always gorgeous women and I feel threatened. It's always been like that, but with the media, there are more unreasonably attractive women, usually with not much clothing. I thought I was over these issues, but my relationship is bringing them on. I get upset over minor things.

There was some commercial on with a sexy santa woman wearing clothes that showed off her legs and stomach. My boyfriend and his roommates were like, "oh my god" or "wow..." Or a Britney Spears video will come on and he'll say "oohh" and keep it on that channel (he's always had a crush on her). I know I shouldn't be upset by that, but I simply can't help it. It just makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I want to make my boyfriend say "wow," but I don't look like these women who are everywhere. I am not ugly or overweight, but I'm flawed. I'm average weight, but do not have huge breasts and a flat, tan stomach. I have a little bit of a belly. I get quiet and try not to talk about it because I know on some level it's silly, but my bf can tell. He told me "I'm not shallow, I don't want to mold you into some beautiful, perfect, amazing, unreasonable standard." Then he said something about how he thinks I'm cute even when I'm peeing or picking my nose. I know he was trying to be sweet, but I want him to think I'm perfect and beautiful NOW. If he doesn't feel like he has to "mold" me, then he wants me to stay how I am, but he still thinks I'm not beautiful, following that line of logic. He told me he thought I was PRETTY sexy, emphasizing the word pretty, aka "kind of". I told him this and he just got mad and quiet.

I had these issues when I was 12 years old. I thought I was over it, but I'm obviously not. I get upset about it all the time. I compare myself to women on tv, I compare myself to the girl he said he was "not really" in love with when we first started dating. I don't know what to do because talking to him about it does not help, he just says something that makes me realize that what I fear is actually true. I just want to be able to be comfortable all the time, but I constantly think that he just wants something better. I'm not happy, but I don't think it's him. Every boyfriend I've had looks at porn and other women and these issues always come up, because I feel like if I were enough, they wouldn't do these things.





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