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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I'm seriously thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years. We've been living together for 4 months. Though I love him and care for him very much, as well as he's a helpful person, taking care of many chores around the house, there are important aspects of this relationship that I'm not happy with.

First off, he drinks 3-4 mixed drinks each evening. He's had a problem with alcohol in the past, but it still continues. I'm concerned about how this daily drinking affects his health, current medical conditions and the combination of alcohol with the pills he takes for these medical conditions. He's prone to blood clots and has a fractured back. This daily drinking may trigger other medical conditions, as well. I've voiced my concern to him about the daily driking and how it may affect his health. However, he tries to reassure me that he has control over his drinking and that he doesn't drink as much as in the past. Though he may be a "functioning" alcoholic, I'm still bothered by it.

Second, he currently does not have a job. When I met him, he worked independently in construction and home repair. However, since the blood clots and hurting his back, work in this area has become limited to nonexistent. For a brief time he worked in a restaurant, doing deliveries. However, he lost his job only after a few weeks of working there. He receives a small amount of State disability and food stamps. He's currently trying to apply for Social Secury (SSI) benefits. I work full time, but can not afford to support two people on my own salary, nor do I want to financially support him. I've also brought up this concern to him. However, he tries to reassure me that at least his food stamps pays for some groceries and that "once I get my social security check" that he will contribute more financially. Well, this process to apply for SSI takes several months. And who knows whether or not he'll be eligible for that right now.

I feel that these issues may negatively affect a long term relationship with my boyfriend. and has me nervous and stressed out. When I break up with him, i know he will be crushed. However, I need to do what is best for myself. I'm rather irritated with myself for allowing such dysfunction into my life. How do I go about proceeding with this break up?

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