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Hi everyone:

I think I see similar posts--but maybe this will help for me to get it out and hopefully someone can give me some perspective and support. I really need someone to give my head a shake.

There is a woman that works with my boyfriend. She is single, but in a relationship--but a tad too familiar with my bf--I have witnessed it--she is a very nice person to me for sure (and honestly gorgeous and 10 yrs. younger!) and I think she realizes the relationship between my BF and I is tight-- and she is looking forward to getting engaged soon--but... I think she sees my bf as her work "husband"--joining committees he is on and wandering into his office for coffee etc. My radar goes off around her--almost like she is competing with me for his attention. He is friendly with her and likes her as his work friend--but always seems to defend her somehow. It's hard to describe. If I had to be honest with you--I guess I wish I could hear him say he is not attracted to her at all--or complain about her for some reason--but he doesn't and says she is always nice to him and that's all he cares about at work.

My boyfriend had an opportunity to attend a conference (somewhere warmer than here!) and he was looking forward to going. I then found out that the woman from work was also going along--so it is his boss and wife, another co-worker and his wife, my bf (I cannot get time off to go) and the co-worker and another female co-worker on the trip.

When he called me today he was so happy to hear my voice--and told me he loved me as he always does, and how he misses me etc--and I love that about him--but then he told me that last night the three of them (him and the two girls) had a blast by going for a great dinner and then he drove them to a mall to shop and then for drinks after--so he didn't get in until 1am. He didn't think anything of telling me all that. I felt sick to my stomach -- just knowing that this woman and him were out doing such fun things and having a blast and making memories together. This will continue on all week as they go to a theme park and shopping and out for dinner and drinks etc etc--soemtimes as a group but lots as a threesome (I assume.)

I cannot bear it. I cannot handle this. It is so upsetting to me that I feel sick. How unfair am I being? He tells me he loves me and he was so good about trying to soothe my insecurities on the phone this morning--but I don't think it's enough. I trust him--I'm not afraid he will cross a line or anything--but I am so beyond envious that this woman will share a HUGE bond now with my boyfriend that I don't share--and how can I even compete?

If you think I am being unreasonable--tell me--but give me soemthing to hold onto security wise--some words of wisdom--some words that will put some perspective.

Maybe you have a similar tale of a Work trip and how you dealt--I don't travel in my job so I'm not sure--but I can only imagine how fun it must be while you are there in a fancy hotel doign only fun things--no stress or responsibilities?

I do NOT want to cry again when he calls--so should I tell him to not call or email me anymore while he is away? The pictures in my head from what he has shared so far are making me sick. I cannot eat or sleep--I am a mess.

Just so you know I am not like this when he is home---there is this intense fear of the unknown for me--and pure envy of this girl getting to share in all these memories. AM I overanalyzing?

I look forward to your responses...
And thanks for listening to me. Man, I need some sleep...





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